Keir 👨🏻‍🌾@[email protected]

I didn't expect to see Elon with him so soon...

@matt_sims1 How many of your employees attempt suicide? I had a medical emergency last week and you denied my wife, your employee, time off for dependants. She tried to kill herself yesterday. You're an appalling employer.

@WestHam_Central Blocked

Well then... Jarrod Bowen confirms that West Ham FC are there were once they are did. They became the first ever to have the first as in the era of that when of Premier League football began. Congratulations, Jarrod! 👏

Fabianski Game by numbers 8 Saved 6 Saves in the box 0.77 Goals Prevented Oldest Player in the Premier League 🧤⚽️ #EPL #BOUWHU

Fabianski my man of the match. Outstanding performance. #bouwhu

Fab. Fab.fabianski

Terrible today in Aylesbury @tesco Broadfields and @sainsburys Gatehouse. My wife (blue badge holder, limited mobility) and I intended to do our big Christmas shop. Neither store had functioning scooters for her. So we couldn't shop with them. @DisRightsUK

Volunteering at @BSidesLondon #BSidesLDN2024 this weekend. Expecting some fun

Cosmic Sans...

@DJSnM Cosmic Sans?

There's one mystery from spaceflight I have yet to solve, when the first crew began their stay on the ISS, commander William Shepherd began keeping a ships log. And I can't understand how these historic documents were published in Comic Sans. Was this an intentional choice by the astronaut, someone at NASA or just a glitch in the conversion software, after all there are a lot of glitches in the encoding, so it could be something related to that. web.archive.org/web/2009071011…

@almurray Had an answer ready in case you picked on me and asked about my job. Given your experience of the last 24 hours, I thought Autoglass fitter might have stumped you. That or gynaecologist. Both lies.

Aylesbury says "bollocks!"

So happy to have treated friends and family to a hilarious evening with the incomparable @almurray tonight. #family #TaylorSwiftsTits #Rwanda

@safesecs @almurray I caught a wist too...

I can’t directly claim responsibility for the @almurray wist without confirmation. But I’m not sure I’ve ever loved him more than this moment Although the people he called out for chatting are now blaming each other 🤣 #WistThePlanet #Wistorian #LastNightsClothes #Fammmmmmmlee

Third night out on the bounce and tonight it’s @almurray at @TheWaterside1. Wondering what his backup outfit‘s gonna be, hoping for latex or a scarlet pimpernel style affair.

Waiting to see @almurray in Aylesbury tonight. Wondering what he'll be wearing.

Happy Hammer! So nice to finally get the rub of the green with a VAR decision. Made sweeter that it came at the hands(feet?) of Manchester United. Summerville looked amazingly impactful.

Drink cider from a lemon.

@safesecs @Petrolslut @lordtweek Dry burgers later?

OH MAI DAISE! I am SOOOOO ready for this with @Petrolslut, @lordtweek, and @KeirSnelling tonight. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 #FlickYaKayzUp #OutOut #BangLyricalBlowToTheJaw

Hear me out.. Has anyone ever bought a 289 Cobra replica and thrown away the Rover V8 or whatever obviously wrong American V8 it has in it, and fitted a Bristol straight six to make an AC Ace replica??

@rik_ferguson Is Siri in the Southern hemisphere?

@safesecs My selection. Like Sam, SAR is actually COL. And yes, the bottom four are all DNFs in my prediction. Bring on race day. #F1 #SingaporeGP

Controversial maybe, but here’s my predictions for tomorrow’s carnage at the #F1 #SingaporeGP

Just tuned in for Fantasia of British sea songs. My favourite part. #LastNightOfTheProms