durnt

When your kids turn out exactly the way you raised them 🥹

@SarAllyce I’m more surprised by the fact that there are not fit women in Miami.

In Miami the women go outside in their underwear. Just a bra & very tiny shorts. They wear them to the grocery store, out to nice restaurants. Even the ones that are not fit, Joe, they walk around in their bra with their big belly hanging out

My gym is playing Fergie and that’s the only kind of music I like while I work out: upbeat and stupid.

@Doc_Red_ @farbood Are you trying to get an invite? Did you use the link in his bio? Maybe it’s a country issue… app.a-list.com/farbood/invite…

@durnt @farbood Can’t access 🥹

If your calorie counting app makes you PAY to see wha your macro intake is, Get a better app

@MustardFren @Oilfield_Rando What a terrible woman. He’s clearly a yellow boy!

@Oilfield_Rando Is there a complaint somewhere?

I AM HOOOOOOOOWWLING

@thedimitri I hate being manipulated into giving compliments. I smile and politely say, “I’m not guessing.” This might only work because I am a woman.

Have they ever figured out a good answer for when a woman asks you how old she looks

My whoop thinks I played field hockey. I vacuumed.

@MurrayHillGuy1 You can say no.

The cost of being in your late 20s/early 30s that no one warns you about: 5-10 weddings per year that cost you $500-$1,000 each to attend The biggest scam in America are weddings!!!

@MargaritaNicko @cybelethebest I love watching her talk on mute. She’s mesmerizing.

@cybelethebest Right? I can admit AOC is hot even though I think her policy ideas are dumb.

Wish libs would admit that Trump is funny and Melania is pretty.

Best batch of potato’s I’ve made in the air fryer

@JobobTaeleifi Serial killers have an m.o. so…

By default, if you like murder, you have to have a favorite type

The Ilhan Omar thing isn’t a mistake that even children make. I don’t care if she corrected herself.

@doctorcalf Except in Japan where they’re heated

A warm public toilet seat is an unnerving experience

@zillowgonewild Is anyone else afraid of falling into a conversation pit and breaking an ankle? House is beautiful though

How do we feel about Scandinavian design? 📍Doylestown, PA 🏡 $1,695,000 🛌 4 bd, 4 ba | 3,358 sq ft

@luinalaska The ambrosia salad is SO good though 😂 I feel all vintage-y when I eat it once a decade or two

If you put fruit and whipped cream in jello I don’t believe you have the light of Christ in your soul. It probably says it somewhere in Ephesians.

@thatgirlondeck Heels? Maybe… Flats? Def wear!

wildly impractical to wear to a game and yet at the same time i need them

@Krissa_Kray_ She is SO good at hiding/directing attention away from her tummy. Not saying there’s anything wrong with her body, but as a woman of a certain age, I’m so jealous.

Honestly this look is INSANE and you're just a hater if you disagree. Jackie O never looked this good.

@RobProvince As a man in STEM, he found nothing interesting about himself so he decides to be a woman. Also, does this inflate how many women work in defense? Did he get opportunities that would otherwise go to women?

Dead ☠️💀☠️

I love this video because it’s so cute, but the mom and son are SO patient with each other. Instead of just dismissing him, she continued to asked questions. And instead of getting frustrated, he continued his best at saying the word.

@Romy_Holland There is a store in AZ, Last Chance. It is 90% (1), Lots of things that weren’t sold at Nordstrom, returns, & some (2). They restock multiple times a day. It is wonderful but also exhausting and not for the faint of heart. maps.app.goo.gl/9iShEjPyR5K5fF…

is nordstrom rack like, last season nordstrom clothes? or is it like outlet stores where they sell clothes made cheaply that would never be sold under the main brand name?