twentyfivecentninja

@MichaelaOkla This is the exact thing that pushed me to get LASIK. I need reading glasses to tweet now but at least I can see the sock with a bar of soap in it swinging my way.

@AlisonRosen Not the same Wordle that you cursed, I know… still pumped.

@AlisonRosen Your tweet enticed me to try my first Wordle today and I am pumped! Wordle 217 3/6 🟩⬛🟨⬛🟩 🟩⬛⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Possibly addicted, time will tell.

Fuck today’s wordle

Wordle 217 3/6 🟩⬛🟨⬛🟩 🟩⬛⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

@GinaGrad @adamcarolla Wow, and your spouse wearing a hat with your boss’s middle name on it. That is deep company commitment.

@adamcarolla “Glamp”

Post a pic of you that looks like an album cover

@GinaGrad @THEAndyHarris @AdamCarollaShow @EasyListeningTG Mazel Tov!

Wedding pix are ready. Here are a few that really capture the vibe of the day… 💙

@RayOldhafer Yesterday’s prank is today’s sex crime.

One for the ladies.... They had no idea....Balls.

@Garlic_Olives @surfline The attack was on a swimmer only 15 yards from shore. The victim sustained serious puncture wounds to the leg, but they are expected to survive. The shark was said to be small (6-8 feet).

@surfline Anyone know how far out the swimmer was or more details/specifics as to what he/she/them was doing out there?

Swimmer bitten by great white, area beaches closed.

@DawsAngeles It’s because you’ve never met anyone worthy of as much love as an avocado, isn’t it?

I figured out why I'm single.

@DawsAngeles Please elaborate. I am headed there in a couple weeks.

Do not swim there. I did. Big mistake.

@esotericSarah @VinceMancini Deep Blue Something played a sparsely attended free show on campus at SDSU promoting that album. The show was fantastic and I got a free cd that I absolutely never listened to.

One thing people younger than me will never understand is how hard you’d have to try to like a CD once you’d bought it.

@boorad0 @QuidStuprum @GinaGrad This is wildly eye opening. My life may need a new purpose after today.

Let’s start a thread of your favorite joke punchlines. JUST the punchline! I’ll go first... “He had a hat.”

@QuidStuprum @GinaGrad Dammit. I’ve been seeking the setup to this punchline for 25 years now.

@QuidStuprum @GinaGrad Came here to say this. And I’m asking in all seriousness, do you know the rest of the joke?

@GinaGrad “Run around in circles until you get pooped out.”

@adamcarolla I may have underestimated how much you hate your parents.

LA open up. Wake up sheep. Just do it

@MichelleObama Damn I love you, Michelle. Got my vaccine yesterday. Arm is sore. #worthit

When you can get the COVID-19 vaccine, I hope you do—Barack and I are certainly glad we did. It’s our best shot at beating this virus, looking out for one another, and getting back to some of the things we miss. Getting vaccinated will save lives—and that life could be yours.

@PaulMedico @GV1793 @jefferson66 @adamcarolla Thoughts on NPR?

@GV1793 @jefferson66 @adamcarolla I would have to watch more of those, but my default opinion is all corp news is trash unless proven otherwise

Why wasn’t that capital riot called a super spreader event ? CNN you dropped the ball

@DianeArnett1 @BillyDStarchild It is absolutely not called Obama Care. Do you think he gets royalties or something?

@BillyDStarchild He's also got rich off the American people and is still getting rich just for his name being on Obamacare. Another guy I wish would disappear😡

Barack Obama has an Oscar, a Grammy, a Nobel Peace Prize and a Twitter account.

@kaymyers_ @jourdayen Never heard of this movie, but I love Waitress. Gotta watch it now.