Carl Hoffman

People always ask me what Seeds is like. Well this is him in a nutshell

*Gets a new haircut Dating: “Wow Babe, I love it. So Sexy!” 15 years of marriage: “Nice mullet, douche.”

Have 2 wonder if might be the begining of a QB controversy in Kansas City

Joaquin Phoenix: all I have are negative thoughts Me: *just shoving handfuls if buttered popcorn into my mouth* fuuuuck maybe IM the joker

When I gave up my dads dream of me being a basketball star to perform in the school musical alongside my girlfriend Gabriella

7 things every kid needs to hear: 1. I love you 2. I support you 3. I am listening 4. I believe in you 5. The Packers are a joke of an organization who have wasted 2 HoF QBs careers. 6. I am here for you 7. You matter

A leader of men,a master of motivaton

David Ortiz has never once given a fuck

Dumbledore in 1927 vs 1938

Holy fuck I just saw your Instagram story, I'm gonna listen to that song right away thanks for letting me know

@Timberwolves make this happen

“Kobe!” - helicopter pilot

The #NLCS takes Baby Shark to another level 🦈😆 (via @MLB)

What’s fortnight

🇺🇸 NATIONALS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES 🇺🇸 ✅ Sweep the Cardinals, 4-0 ✅ Punch ticket to first WS in franchise history ✅ Celebrate with champagne

Do y’all ever be driving and think about how quick and easy it would be to just crank the wheel into the median at 70 mph or is that just something I should’ve kept between my therapist and I

@NavyFB @UW_Football @skylinegridiron With the 2nd pick of Round 8 (No. 58 overall) in the Skill Position #XFLDraft, the #XFLDragons select running back John Santiago #DragonsDraft 🔥🐲

Welcome to Seattle @_JohnSantiago_!!! New WR for the @XFLDragons #BreathingFire 🔥 🐉

Happy 38th Birthday to former #MNTwins RHP Boof Bonser (@BoofBonser1)! Acquired from the Giants after 2013. Debuted in 2006 and over 3 seasons went 18-25 with a 5.12 ERA in 96 G (60 starts). 2 ER in 6 IP in his 2006 playoff start. Traded to Red Sox after 2009 season.