кєηт_ωιℓℓιαмѕ 🇮🇪📷🇸🇪

Early morning, Oranjestad.

@robwoodyard1 @RepJackKimble Mike Johnson, who knows nothing about this, will simply abolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons.

@RepJackKimble Sir, has there been any progress from the FDA MAHA subcommittee on toxic food additives to determine how come Jesus gets Industrial Disease?

We just had one mentally ill guy who thought he was Jesus try to get into the White House to attack another mentally ill guy who thinks he's Jesus. #USANeedsJesus

@dalepartridge Mine: Preacher Partridge gets called DOWN home to be with the Lord.

My American Wish List: -A Christian President -Christian Supreme Court Justices -End Our Infatuation with Israel -Outlaw Abortion -Outlaw Homosexuality and Trans -No More Women in Government -Repeal the 19th -Outlaw Porn -Deport 100m -Outlaw Mosques, Temples, and Synagogues

@AZ_Brittney Fuckwad.

Describe Marco Rubio in one word. 👇

Table of Contents 1. Delete Tinder 2. Reinstall Tinder 3. Don’t Flirt at Wedding Receptions 4. Zippers: A Beginner’s Guide 5. Why Brunch Isn’t Foreplay 6. Apologizing to Neighbors 7. Emergency Cold Showers 8. Eye Contact: The Gateway Drug

@NotHoodlum Dayum…again. On fire today.

CAN YOU PUT ON STILTS AND DYED FERRETS ON YOUR HEAD AND GO TO MY SON BARTON’S WEDDING?

@demandjustice25 @NotHoodlum @KregerPatricia Somehow, this is totes believable.

@NotHoodlum @KregerPatricia I think his dr told him if he flew his colon would explode from the cabin pressure. The pilots would pass out. Plane would….u know.

Our most tracked flight at the moment is this 83 year old @RAFBBMF C-47A. Follow along at flightradar24.com/ZA947/3fd8b7b9

If you've ever wondered why

“Sorry, I couldn’t make your wedding, Eric. I didn’t want to go.” “Dad, I’m Barron.” “Nobody gives a shit about your pronouns, Eric. You should really take a cognitive test, you’re mixing up your own name.”

@NotHoodlum Dayum! That’s awesome!

@Pithy_Galore @SundaeDivine Another Tweet I never tire of…

Every so often I just like to remember this tweet exists.

@robwoodyard1 I assume that’s powdered coke…

Maybe Junior could post a Craigslist ad in Nassau offering $50 for seat-fillers tonight ("Note: Must stay through entire ceremony to receive free hot dog & Coke).

If Breaking Bad ended today, conservatives would be making AI generated alternative endings where Walt kills Skyler and retires to a resort in Mexico with Sidney Sweeney.

If this kind of video is already circulating in May, the campaign ads heading into November are going to be absolutely brutal.

@theliamnissan At best he looks like Elvis 10 minutes before Elvis sat on *THE* toilet. At worst, he looks like the Hindenburg 10 seconds before the spark.

Remember when he said he looked like a young Elvis Presley? LOL

Every Republican that supported releasing the Epstein files has now been voted out of office. Let that sink in, MAGAts. You belong to the #Rapeublican Party. Own it you sick fucks

@RepJackKimble @yoursunshine63 Actually, it was Quinn Martin that took the lowercase letters as payola for producing the old FBI series.

@yoursunshine63 ARE THEY THEY ONES WHO STOLE ALL OUR LOWER CASE LETTERS TOO?

Way too many people are upset about having a fund for the January 6ers, but how else are they supposed to pay their bail or hire a lawyer when their inevitably rearrested for child sexual assault or domestic violence?