Alexander King

I will only marry a man who is: -A virgin -Naturally handsome (no gym, no filters, no grooming enhancements) -Exactly 6’5— not 6’4 -Exactly 70 kg — no fluctuations ever -Earns 7 figures but still has unlimited free time -Knows how to cook all cuisines -Non-patriarchal -Doesn’t use social media -Has no female friends -Asks permission before going anywhere -Shares his live location 24×7 -Deletes his entire past -Takes care of my parents like his own -Never gets angry -Calm and “emotionally available” 24×7 -Pays all bills no 50/50 -Has zero ego -Fully healed from all trauma but never went to therapy

The day after Arsenal become champions, nobody will talk about it anymore. Arteta’s project excites no one outside the club’s own bubble. It has no personality, no edge, no cultural gravity. It is efficient, polished, correct. And forgettable. Manchester United win four games in a row and the entire football world starts talking again. Pundits, rivals, timelines, everyone. That is not nostalgia. That is not bias. Those are facts about relevance.