Allern Jevon

My Cousin Richard Turere came up with an idea of protecting Maasai homes from lion attacks by installing solar lights and he added cameras that rotate 360 degrees and are all weather proof..His project is called LION LIGHTS! Retweet kindly apate ya cabbage! Asante!

@KenyaPower_Care we're having challenges buying tokens via your app and mpesa..is there an issue?

@nanabeauty001 @Ajmetax Me too! Happy birthday!

@Ajmetax Today is my birthday sir

Smile and be happy

@naivas_kenya @CAK_Kenya @KEBS_ke @C_NyaKundiH @Proparco @MITIKenya Who will save us from this @naivas_kenya supermarket in Malindi? Apparently they don't sell @NIVEAUSA products. Never heard of such bullshit while you still can't redeem points. @Consumers_Kenya @MITIKenya @KRACare

@naivas_kenya Malindi are stealing your points in the name of "migrating the system" I have tried using mine but I can't since Friday. I inquired but all I'm getting is PR. Check your points guys @CAK_Kenya @KEBS_ke @C_NyaKundiH @Proparco @MITIKenya

@ManUtd Allerno 5

Coming soon to your phone 👀📱 Reply below for the chance to get your personalised lockscreen 👇

@TotalEnergiesKE @TotalEnergies do you have an existing reachable number? Your website is very unhelpful on what customer service numbers you can be reached at.

Some of you push your fridge completely against the wall then wonder why your KPLC tokens disappear so fast. A fridge releases heat from the back and sides through the compressor and condenser coils. When there’s little or no space for airflow, the heat gets trapped forcing the fridge to work harder and consume more electricity to stay cold. Leaving some breathing room behind the fridge helps it cool efficiently, reduces power consumption, and can even extend the lifespan of the compressor. A good rule: leave at least 20–30cm between the fridge and the wall. Your electricity bill will notice the difference

@naivas_kenya You know it's b.s customer service when you like my reply but don't reach out..right?

@naivas_kenya Done

@naivas_kenya why are your points disappearing to? I was at your Malindi branch and I had 1100 points..today they're 400, your supervisor - David is of no help. What's going on?

@WashiraX @alsahaaf114 I'm still stuck on that one question too😂😂😂

@alsahaaf114 Kuna ngamia choma?

Eastleigh is not laughing with KRA. Over the weekend, I visited my woria friend in Eastleigh. He owed me camel meat. He told me: Okuyu, kuja nikupeleke bahali yake. He took me to a camel meat joint. He told me to order. I asked the waiter: mko na nini? He said: rafiki iko ngamia tatu. Ngamia imekaangwa, ngamia blain, na ngami... Before he finished, I asked: Hiyo blain iko na nini? He said: Imechemshwa na chumvi. I told him, niletee ngamia choma. Suddenly, every head turned to our table. My woria friend quickly took charge. Ordered 3 plates. 2 Blain and 1 imekaangwa. I have no clue how those chefs do it. But it was the sweetest and softest meat I have eaten this year. My friend, if you have never eaten camel in isirii, I don't even know why I am talking to you. • Lesson 1: Those chefs should be arrested. Unaweza malizia school fees ya watoto hapo. As we stood to leave, I see the one and only Eastleigh mall. Immediately I remember what they did to KRA. When the mall was constructed. It cost 96 million. They also said the name Eastleigh mall is a brand. They gave it a brand value of 10% of the building cost. And called it goodwill. A whopping 9 million shillings. Total cost = 104 million. That is what they reported to KRA in their 2008 tax return. They then divided this cost over 13 years. The period to fully deduct building costs from tax. 8M per year. All legal. From 2008 to 2017, Eastleigh mall and KRA are good buddies. They even say cheers while taking coffee together. Then one morning in 2017, KRA arrives at Times Tower and finds a letter from Eastleigh Mall. It reads: • Hello KRA. You see that 104M we told you. We made a mistake. It's actually 200 million. We now have a fresh valuation report. We want to amend our returns from 2008. Tutoe 104 Million bahali yake tuweke 200 Million. KRA officer thought his spectacles had been hacked. He removed them. Saw the same numbers live. KRA asked, what do you mean? They responded: The amendment will help us deduct higher depreciation and lower our taxes. KRA rejected it instantly. It didn't end there. KRA immediately smelled a tax evasion scheme. They deployed spies to investigate Eastleigh mall. The spies seized their most critical documents. The most important being management accounts. The spies returned with a very disturbing report. There were huge understatements between the actual income and what had been declared. Angrily, KRA slapped the mall with a tax demand of 386M. The mall protested. They wrote an objection letter to KRA showing they had paid all taxes and that management accounts were just internal projections. They sat and waited for a reply. Clock started ticking. At times tower, KRA is sipping chai undecided whether to accept or reject the objection. As KRA is doing this, KRA is unaware of 1 dangerous sentence chilling quietly in the Kenyan tax laws. It reads. - As surely as the sun shall rise tomorrow. Any objection decision issued by KRA after 60 days shall be invalid. But the Eastleigh accountant knew that sentence very well. He put 60 beans in his wallet. Every morning, he removed and dropped one bean in his office tin. Day 61 reached. His wallet is empty. KRA has not responded. He rushed to the director. Bossi, KRA has not responded. We owe them nothing. Tumeshinda. Call the party. Many months later, KRA sends their reply. - Hello mall. We hope this email finds you well. We have not forgotten you. We reject your protest letter. You must pay us 400M. The mall ran to court. - They argued that KRA’s failure to respond within 60 days meant the objection was allowed and no tax was due. • The tax appeal Tribunal said noo. The 60 days is just a mere technicality. Bring us more documents for review. The mall refused to supply more records. The Tribunal sided with KRA and ordered the mall to pay KRA 386m. KRA retreated to Times Towers telling the mall na tuliwawon. The mall ran to the high court. They argued again, no response within 60 days means no tax. The good judge asked KRA: Is it true that you responded out of time. KRA nodded like this. The judge removed his spectacles. Paused. Then sided with the mall. The mall was ordered to pay zero. KRA was ordered to pay the mall legal fees. Case closed. Lesson 2. • If KRA does not respond to your objection letter within 60 days, call the party. You have won. • If KRA pushes, run to court and ask for legal costs. Courts will not hesitate.

Came across this and decided to post it here.. Please repost and reshare

1/ I am being evicted from my bedsitter today. Not because I'm lazy. Not because I gave up. But because childhood trauma has a bill. And it always comes due. This is my story. Kindly read it. I'm not asking for any handouts. A thread 🧵

My friend is looking for his kids. Reach out to @CKMahea if you have any info. Also retweet this widely ifikie wengi!

Things you never the purpose of 🤔😳

ACRONYM, ABBREVIATION, INITIALISM. Read to learn 👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽 VISA is actually not an acronym or abbreviation. It’s a Backronym. A backronym is when people take a word or phrase that already exists and try to force a full sentence into its letters. The word "Visa" comes from the Latin phrase "charta visa" meaning "paper that has been seen." It’s a noun. Here is a short lesson for those who care to read. Most people use "Acronym" and "Abbreviation" like they’re the same thing, but in reality, they aren’t even on the same street. Think of an Abbreviation as a word haircut. You’re just cutting the tail off to save space, but you still pronounce the full name. Examples: Gov. Sanwo-Olu, Gen. Musa, or Prof. Soyinka. An Acronym, however, is a new identity. The first letters of a group of words fuse together to create a brand new word you can actually pronounce. Examples: JAMB, LASPOTECH, or NAPTIP. You don't spell them out letter-by-letter, you say them as one single word. If you have to call out the letters one by one, like EFCC, FCT, or DSS, that’s technically an Initialism. Shortened word = Abbreviation (Dr.) Pronounced like a word = Acronym (UNILAG) Pronounced as letters = Initialism (N-P-F) Stop calling everything an abbreviation. Class don end. INALEGWU.

Hali ni mbaya kidogo… I won’t lie. If you know anyone looking for car hire this week, tag them or send them my way. Even an RT helps 🙏...100rts for IJ☺️ Today’s survival offers: • Axio – 3500 (instead of 4500) • Mazda CX-5 – 6500 (instead of 8500) • Demio – 3500 (instead of 4200) • Nissan Note – 3000 (instead of 3500) • Serena – 6000 • Sienta – 4000 (instead of 7500) • Jimny – 4500 (instead of 6500) Clean cars. 📞 0793 373 705 📞 0723 630 231 🌐 gowheels.co.ke RT hata kama ni ya huruma… maybe it will bring a customer today.

@KenyaPower_Care Any update?

Hello, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused by the outage. Kindly send us a direct message with your account number, location (including a nearby landmark), and phone number so we can log your complaint and follow up accordingly. For future outage reporting and token tracking, you may use the MyPower App, dial *977#, or access our chatbot via chatbot.kplc.co.ke for quick assistance. ^BW

@KenyaPower_Care @KenyaPower we've not had lights since yesterday at airport view estate Malindi..kindly assist.

@KenyaPower_Care Done