Andy Ruri

@gwithithimukuo @city_digest True dis!

@city_digest her*

@iamennoh Nani ali-notice kulikua kuna nyesha before kuvalia condom? Now that I am older, I understand...

Trust C0ndoms did a banger😂

A THREAD of Prime Days TV adverts that will leave you wondering how they were allowed on public mɛdia 🧵😂

@citizentvkenya SHA ni short-form ya ShAkahola.

“Every time they tell us the system is down,” angry KNH patients storm Ministry of Health offices to lament SHA failures

@mmghenyi_ He needs to be abducted too. Kwanza hio mdomo yake. MF!

NOW HEAR THIS! In 1988, DG NIS Noordin Haji dad the then Provincial Commissioner Mr. Yusuf Haji, had a motorist one Mr. Peter Makau jailed for 3 months for refusing him a lift. VERY CRUEL FAMILY....

@C_NyaKundiH 🎶 Toa dada 🎶. 🎶 Toa ndugu 🎶. Ulichonacho 🎶...the rest of the lyrics don't really matter.

Christ is the Answer Ministries (CITAM) Church members have expressed concern over an ongoing two-year fundraising campaign which seeks to raise millions for the construction of permanent structures. "Hi Nyakundi. Is it possible that there is a laundering business through CITAM churches? This research needs to be done. There is a massive 2year campaign to raise funds in the millions. Like 65m per assembly or thereabout to build permanent structures. But in the face of economic hardship amongst members, ni kusomewa Kila Sunday about the slow pledge redemption. Parents are struggling with fees. I suspect the regime is about to launder cash through CITAM. Maybe I am wrong, but worth looking into. Keep me anonymous."

@RodgersKipembe M.F

Describe him in 2 words.

@Sophie_Mokoena @RailaOdinga The million dollar question.

My question to @RailaOdinga . You are campaigning for the position of the AU Commision Chair. Why must Africa consider you when your country can’t provide answers on the abduction cases in Kenya? You want to lead the continent when you are failing to lead in your own country. @mirriamp @StateHouseKenya

@BillyMwangi_1 You live to fight another day brother.

Thanks to larry madowo and x friends for standing with me and my fellow tweeps you're true legends. 🙏 HAPPY NEW YEAR

@LarryMadowo Wait... bodies show up last week saying oh mara they drowned mara a hit and run...then others show up alive. Hmmm... the math doesn't add up. Somebody is feeding us bullshit while feasting on the blood of innocent Kenyans.

BREAKING: Billy Mwangi also released this morning after going missing on 21st December in Embu, Kenya. “Thank God Larry. The boy is back physically intact,” his dad Gerald Mwangi tells me

@FGaitho237 @DCI_Kenya @SafaricomPLC South Africa warned us about Safaricom, but we didn't listen. They told us our private data will be in the public domain.

Shida si @DCI_Kenya . Shida ni @SafaricomPLC . Dump Safaricom and reduce your chances of abduction by 70%. #RutoMustGo #EndAbductionsKE

@FGaitho237 A.I at its best.

Enjoy this song, download it and those carrying their speakers can jam with it. #RutoMustGo #EndAbductionsKE

@FGaitho237 @HakiKNCHR @kdfinfo @gabrieloguda @CollinceBey @Disembe Somebody is working hard to set up the 2027 elections. Clearing any obstacle along the way.

Roselyn Odede the chairperson of @HakiKNCHR dies in mysterious circumstances just as chief of general staff @kdfinfo Francis Ogolla died. But these are all coincidences according to Luo propagandists on GoK payroll like @gabrieloguda @CollinceBey and @Disembe . If this happened during a Kikuyu presidency these three sexual-partners would be going ballistic on this app, regurgitating the stupidity and mental impotence of overgrown kehee @RailaOdinga . Because for them, justice and truth is never the consideration. It’s all about ethnic chauvinism. #RutoMustGo #EndAbductionsKE

@itskipronoh He has finally played the tunes of his master...or somebody slapped some sense into him. Whichever it is...the puppet strings are very much visible.

Soprano guy Kithure Kindiki amesema hawezi tishwa na Rigathi Gachagua. 😂😂

@karennyamunbo WTF?

No alcohol touching my lips this New Year. I'm going to use a straw 🍸🍹

Citizen TV cited vehicle registration number KCG 089A as the car used for the abduction of Billy Mwangi. They said it belongs to a certain Catherine Kalaju. This her son with the car and the father is not very straight person, they hail from Maua in Meru. Anyone with information of the whereabouts of Catherine Kalaju and her unscrupulous husband, please hit me up. #RutoMustGo #EndAbductionsKE

@Wakabando @MarthaKarua Ametenga Billion Mbili za special disappearance. #StopAbductionsKE

Monday is Monday!! #EndAbductionsKE

@LarryMadowo GOAT!

Karibu Magical Ken

@brian_mutiga It was expected.

The rumours that Farouk Kibet & Kithure Kindiki had a fight are true. Actually, it wasn't a fight. Kindiki was slapped for meeting William Ruto without Farouk's permission. I'm told nobody enters Statehouse without the clearance of Farouk. I'm also told Kimani Ichung'wa isn't happy with how they are being treated in the house on the hill. Ndindi Nyoro was suspended from months ago & hasn't been to Statehouse ever since. When Gachagua said that he was being mistreated by his juniors in statehouse, Kithure Kindiki thought he was looking for sympathy to be Mt.Kenya's kingpin. Now I'm told things are thick & he will likely resign.