Austy

Comedy isn't about punching up or punching down it's about punching yourself self as hard as you can in the dick and saying "YOUR WATCHING JACKASS" into your parents borrowed camcorder when you're 11.

@_TyAnderson Apparently @reporterchris is saying the NHL will rule that if they keep their pick tonight bruins slide to 2028 no matter whay

If Leafs keep '26 pick, '27 pick goes to Philly not Boston if it's outside of the top 10. If it is inside top 10, Toronto gets to pick which team '27 pick goes to and the team they do not pick gets an unprotected pick in '28.

@SENSdusters @jkamckenzie @NHLPlayerSafety He hits his arm

@jkamckenzie Gotta be 15 plus games….2 hander to the head…lets see if the @NHLPlayerSafety get it right for once….thats bush league…

I hate this slew foot on McAvoy. But I also don’t like that retaliatory slash on Benson. Curious to see how this gets reviewed by the Department of Player Safety.

@gobills191919 @grosshockey @MatthewFairburn No but pretending the slewfoot isn't an attempt to injure is insane. A much more dangerous play than a hard slash on the arm.

Charlie McAvoy has been the dirtiest player in this series, and he gets one last dirty play in. After getting tripped by Benson, McAvoy got up and swung his stick at him. McAvoy is -6 in this series by the way.

@gitrdone_jon Hopefully he gets a two hander to the face next time!

Charlie mcavoy has plenty of time to think of a Father’s Day gift for Zach benson

@EvanMarinofsky @BruinsNetwork He's definitely at his best playing with pasta

Marat Khusnutdinov, who was outstanding tonight, forcing the turnover that led to the winner

@HackswithHaggs If they benched him for an actual NHL player this take might make sense. That's not what happened tho you're just being a Hagens hater.

Everybody pushing for James Hagens to play in this Game 5 really dont get it. He was not ready. And the Bruins know it. He got valuable experience that'll help him prepare for next season in Boston, but throwing him in an elimination game ain't it after he showed little in series

@intrnetdaughter Sulphur is generally a byproduct of processing petroleum/natural gas which is the main thing driving revenues of the companies that produce it. It's not as economically feasible to mine it for its own sake. I'd imagine ammonia is the same but idk as much about that.

@ConorRyan_93 Should have destroyed UPL if that was gonna be the result anyway

Buffalo gets a power play out of that scrum. Interesting.

@Zach_Torres23 I don't make the rules real hockey is 5on5. I'm sure if you keep trying you'll beat us in a real tournament eventually.

USA needed fake hockey 3on3 to win. Sorry guys doesn't count.

@the3pl It's okay if you guys keep trying you can beat us at real tournament at some point

@BKHockeyTalk He has 8 points in 5 do or die games in the cup finals. Not an oilers fan but you should try to get it right.

0 goals, 0 assists, 0 points, -4 in 2 do or die cup finals games btw.

@domluszczyszyn Ray Bourque

For this piece, I thought it would be fun to go back and estimate player ratings from the pre-analytics era. So now let's #RememberSomeGuys — taking requests for any player's ratings timeline from 1968-2026 (if it's a random, please write their full name lol)

@_rhaus_ @Jessemedscience @Aubs1717 It would be great if Hagens became a player as good as Thomas but there's no guarantee of that and if it happens it won't be for some time. Centres as good as Thomas are very hard to come by with pasta and McAvoy in their late 20's the timing would be ideal.

@Jessemedscience @Aubs1717 Overrating Thomas. Plus why do you need this when Hagens/Letourneau are en route?

This flip-flopping on Matthew Poitras and Mason Lohrei’s value is quite the fairytale from the Boston fanbase For months it’s been: Matthew Poitras is not an NHL’er *Mason Lohrei is a 14-16 TOI /PP specialist 3rd-pairing defenseman (on this team I agree) But the moment they’re thrown into hypothetical trade scenarios people lose their minds If we’re using the common ‘sentiment’ of Bruins fans the following proposal is a ‘no-go’: STL: An AHL centerman 3rd-pair defenseman 2 (1st rd picks) BOS: Robert Thomas Who says no? Boston Fans: “Boston says hell no…” 🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾 #NHLBRUINS #BRUINS #NHL #STLBLUES #BlUES

@nickiacoban The NCAA got much harder this year.

A lot of people are excited about James Hagens, but to be honest, I'm a little worried. For a guy as skilled as he is, he hasn't been able to produce at a high level for two seasons. The freshman season excuse is gone now, and his production hasn't improved... #NHLBruins

@ConorRyan_93 All this cause Trocheck hit his own face with his glove.

Zibanejad, again. 4-0 Rangers with 4:53 left in the second.

@domluszczyszyn @CakeMcJabe I'm sorry Canada's greatest goal scorer Morgan Geekie is on that team.

@CakeMcJabe they also allowed 40 shots against to a team with david pastrnak and roughly 17 create-a-players

This is one of those "bad goaltending, bad luck" games, what can you do

@RachelKryshak @wyshynski Some interesting choices to make for the Olympics. Morgan Geekie leads all Canadians in goals since January 1st

When @wyshynski and I did our Olympic team article, this was the exact scenario I was talking about with Bedard & Celebrini. Top 2 in points in the NHL, it would be foolish not to consider them over many of the veteran forwards. Bring the game breakers!

@L69fs You must recognize Morgan Geekie's status of current best Canadian goal scorer

Might be the worst NHL roster I’ve ever seen. We are either getting a 7-1 leafs win or witnessing a Mark Kastelic hat trick tonight