Avrumy Jordan

Quote of the week: "If you want to be depressed read the news, if you want to be happy and thankful, read the Haggadah." Wishing all friends, fans and followers a beautiful and uplifting holiday. #LifeThoughts #Pesach #passover

Winter is the Justin Bieber of seasons. It started out exciting but now it's just obnoxious and should go back to Canada. #LifeThoughts #canada #blizzard

l just had it brought to my attention that 1980 and 2026 are as far apart as 1980 and 1934. I’m just going to need a minute. #LifeThoughts #timeflies #relativity

This story starts with a scheduling mix up. It ends with something that can only be described as siyata dishmaya. Two minutes. Worth it. @clldrivers #LifeThoughts #SiyataDishmaya #FaithInAction #DivineProvidence #MissionDriven #PurposeDriven #MomentsThatMatter #ChaiLifeline

What do you do when it is your circus and it is your monkey? #LifeThoughts #businessadvice #management

With all the sponga they do, you’d think Israel would have a curling team. #LifeThoughts #olympics #winterolympics #curling #israel

Why is it adorable when your pet snores but infuriating when your spouse does? #LifeThoughts #petparent #marriageissues

Research has shown that starting your day with an early morning run is the best way to ensure your day can’t get any worse than it started. #LifeThoughts #morning #MorningRoutine

Rumors are out that Yoeli Landau is bidding against Trump for Greenland. #LifeThoughts #Genesis #Greenland

If @realDonaldTrump buys Greenland, you think he’ll call it the Green New Deal? Man would that upset @AOC #LifeThoughts #DonaldTrump #Greenland

I drive with my left hand and just realized I put my life in the hand I can't even eat a bowl of cereal with. #LifeThoughts #lefthand #leftrightout

Maybe if we had just let them eat the @Tide Pods, we wouldn’t be in this situation today. #LifeThoughts

May your 2026 be as successful as a 2025 Somalian daycare. #LifeThoughts #walz #daycare #newyearswish

Jews on @ozempic and @mounjaro should be called Israel-lites. #LifeThoughts #weightloss #ozempic #mounjaro

The only people not happy are the left wing lunatics. #LifeThoughts #VenezuelaLibre #madurocaptured

@Joelmpetlin #LifeThoughts

The same people who are marching in opposition to the "kidnapping" of Maduro from foreign soil were recently marching on the same NYC streets in support of the terrorists who kidnapped 254 people from Israel on October 7th. George Soros must've bought them new flags and signs.

Things that keep me up at night: If you put 1 pizza on top of another you have 2 pizzas but if you put 1 lasagna on top of another you only have 1 lasagna. #LifeThoughts #pizza #themoreyouknow

For those that don’t know, Matilda was the 10 year old girl murdered on Bondi Beach. The song Waltzing Matilda is the unofficial anthem of Australia (like God bless America here). Watch as Matilda’s parents find each other and dance. #LifeThoughts #BondiBeach #matilda

Do you think washers and dryers are actually friends or just work friends? #LifeThoughts

Bondi Beach in summer, it can show up anywhere.
And if we don’t stop it now, it won’t stop with us. #BondiBeach #StopJewishHate #Antisemitism #NeverAgainIsNow #Australia

like Manchester.
This happened at Bondi Beach, in the middle of summer. One of the most open, carefree, Australian places there is. The attacker targeted Jews. But Bondi isn’t just Jews. Families. Locals. Tourists. Kids. If hatred can show up at

I’ve been struggling to find the right words. The Bondi Beach terror attack didn’t just shake Jews in Sydney. It shook people everywhere. Friends and former colleagues reaching out to ask if I’m okay. This didn’t happen in Israel or Gaza.
It wasn’t an attack on a shul,