Nicki💗

You don’t know what fun is until you’ve witnessed a drunk on the Edinburgh to Glasgow train screaming “A fucking hate hedgehogs, come at me ya jabby wee cunt” while angrily circling a hairbrush that’s been dropped on the floor...

@baezed9 We absolutely did, thank you😂

@AwkwardAndOdd That is so fetch!! I hope you two enjoyed it!!

Mean Girls with my niece, an awesome afternoon’s entertainment!

There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.

@ChuckPayne12 Correct

@AwkwardAndOdd If I do you will start arguing with me telling me that you're an adult etc and make it worse lol. Have a good night

Will someone please tell me to put down my phone and go to sleep because I am so very tired

@PapaGJS YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

@AwkwardAndOdd Go to sleep lovely lady

@apnordstrom Good point

@AwkwardAndOdd Everyone is having random holidays right now, you probably made her wonder if she had tomorrow off.

I’ve just realised that it’s Thursday not Friday which explains why when I said “have a good weekend” to the woman on the phone earlier she sort of paused for a bit before saying “you too”

@khyberpunnisher 😱

@AwkwardAndOdd If you don't go to sleep, the potato fairy won't come and leave a potato under your pillow.

@bewareofdow SO UNHELPFUL

@AwkwardAndOdd Can’t do it, Nicki.

@HonkytonkBob23 It always involves potatoes

@AwkwardAndOdd Does it involve potatos?

I may not know what I’m doing and I may be doing it badly but at least I’m doing it

'at the end of swan lake, when she left the stage in her great white tutu i would have followed her to the end of the world.'

what makes a man attractive is not his stupid face but his stupendous yearning and agonizing longing for one woman and one woman alone

princess and the pea level sensitive

@kmhepburn Neither

@AwkwardAndOdd Finished or done?

@Wild__At__Heart Bit disappointing for the kids 😂

@AwkwardAndOdd Because I’m a teacher, I unfortunately do that more than I care to admit. Sometimes even on a Tuesday🥴🤦‍♂️

@GLB_88 They probably didn’t bat an eyelid because it’s you 😂

@AwkwardAndOdd I said have a good weekend at the end of a meeting on Tuesday 😂😂😂

@james22959168 Oh my speciality is putting kisses on emails 🙃

@AwkwardAndOdd That’s not so bad. I told a customer I loved here the other day.