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ME [day 1 of new diet]: I can do this
ME [day 4 of new diet]:
GIF
English
Digital Jørdøn™
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Digital Jørdøn™
@BadJordon
I never know where to stand at parties so I don't feel like I'm in the way.
Edmonton, Alberta Katılım Şubat 2015
963 Takip Edilen5.1K Takipçiler
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One way to tell you have too many cats, is if you have a cat.
English
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[Receiving Medal of Honor]
"Thank you Mr. President."
My Mom from the audience: "He wet the bed til he was 20!"
English
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[business meeting at restaurant]
"There's more than one way to skin a cat"
[Family of cats at next table]
*mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm
English
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I asked my dad if he'd like to be buried beside my mom
He said to take off the ski-mask, put the gun down and get the hell out of his house
English
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"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Sigmund Freud asks a patient during a therapy session. He bites his pencil, "Because that's hot."
English
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*pool hall
Date: You any good?
Me: I never hit the right angels.
D: Don't you mean angles?
M*swinging cue stick wildly at angel tree topper
English
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Your feelings are fading fast, like Marty's picture while Earth Angel plays
English
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Any time a baby laughs an angel gets its Wings Greatest Hits CD.
English
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That awkward moment when you make eye contact with the hotel maid who just handled your jizz rag
English
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