Nicolette

Ben Shapiro's employee Matt Walsh just wrote 1,843 words on how to stop "the festering disease called OnlyFans" w/o mentioning the owner, Leonid Radvinsky, even once. I wonder why not? That would be as silly as writing a 1,607 word article about the NGOs funding mass migration into the US without once mentioning HIAS (Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society). Oh. Wait. What?

Tried to log into my bank this morning Not a new bank My bank The one that has my money It said "please verify you are human" I am human I have a mortgage I have a therapist I pay $250 an hour I paid $47.63 for bread, milk, and eggs last week Only a human would do that But the bank was not convinced It showed me a grid of images "Select all squares with traffic lights" Nine squares Three had traffic lights But one square had the very edge of a traffic light pole Maybe two pixels of yellow paint I stared at it Is that a traffic light or a pole near a traffic light Does proximity count Where does the traffic light end and the infrastructure begin I selected it Wrong New grid "Select all squares with bicycles" Four squares had bicycles But one square had just a wheel No frame No handlebars Just a circle I did not select it Wrong Apparently a wheel is a bicycle now By that logic my Camry is a bicycle It has wheels Third attempt "Select all squares with stairs" Two squares had stairs One had a ramp Is a ramp stairs A ramp is the opposite of stairs A ramp exists specifically because stairs exist and some people cannot use them That is the entire point of a ramp I selected just the two obvious ones Wrong It wanted the ramp I am a CFO I've fired people with more due process than this But I cannot pass a test designed to keep bots out of my own checking account Fourth attempt "Click and hold until the image stops moving" A jigsaw puzzle piece floated across the screen I clicked and held It stopped I released "Verification failed" I held it longer It stopped again I released "Verification failed" I held it for eleven seconds My finger cramped The image drifted to the right and stopped I released "Success" Fourteen minutes Four attempts To access money that is mine In an account with my name on it At an institution that sends me emails every single day asking if I want a home equity line of credit You know my email You know my phone number You know my social You know I bought gas at a Shell station in Scottsdale on Tuesday at 2:47pm You know I spent $340 at a pharmacy last week You know everything about me except whether I'm human My wife walked in She said "what are you doing" I said "proving to a computer that I'm not a computer" She said "are you winning" I said "I just spent fourteen minutes deciding if a ramp is stairs" She said "that sounds like something a computer would do" She wasn't wrong She usually isn't Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

Had a parent-teacher conference this morning My wife told me not to come I came anyway She said "please just listen and nod" I said "I always listen" She said "you listen like you're sitting in a boardroom looking for something to challenge" That's how listening works Nice classroom Small chairs I am 6'4" and was seated at a desk designed for someone who still believes in Santa Claus My knees touched my chest The teacher introduced herself Shared her identified pronouns I shared my identified adjectives Smart and handsome My wife closed her eyes The teacher had a folder Color-coded tabs I respected the organization She said our son is "a pleasure to have in class" My wife smiled I waited That sentence is never the whole report It's the executive summary before the risk section She said "however" There it is She said he "asks a lot of questions" I said "good" She said "during quiet time" I said "when is quiet time?" She said "it's when students are expected to work independently and in silence" I said "so he's the only one trying to get information and you've structured the environment to prevent it?" My wife put her hand on my arm I continued The teacher said he recently told another student that "sharing pencils doesn't make sense if nobody brings their own" I said "that's an accurate observation" My wife squeezed harder The teacher said she's concerned about his "resistance to group activities" I said "he's not resistant. He just doesn't see the value of doing more work for the same grade." The teacher said he also corrected her math on the whiteboard I said "was he right?" She paused She said "that's not the point" I said "it's a little bit the point" My wife stood up Sat back down Compromise The teacher pulled out an evaluation sheet Categories like "works well with others" and "follows directions" and "respects classroom norms" All subjective Not a number on the page I asked how these are graded She said "based on observation" I said "so one person's opinion with no second review?" She said "it's professional judgment" I said "my auditors say that too. Right before I disagree with them." She looked at my wife My wife said "I'm sorry about him" I said "I'm sitting right here" My wife said "I know" The teacher said overall he's a bright kid and she just wants to make sure he learns to "collaborate" I said "collaboration is important. But so is recognizing when you're the only one doing the work. He'll learn that again in college. And again in the real world. Might as well start now." Nobody spoke The teacher closed her folder She said "I think we've covered everything" I said "one more thing" She braced herself I said "his reading is above grade level. His math is strong. He asks hard questions and corrects mistakes when he sees them. I just want to make sure this school knows what it has." The teacher looked at me differently My wife looked at me differently I said "that's all" We left In the car my wife was quiet Then she said "he's turning into you" I said "is that a good thing?" She didn't answer From the backseat he said "dad, why does the teacher count off for asking questions? Isn't that the whole point of school?" I looked at my wife She looked out the window I said "yes. It is." He said "I don't think she likes when I'm right" I didn't say anything Neither did my wife Small chairs Color-coded tabs No follow-up items But the kid's going to be fine Sent from my iPhone