Benjamin Timothy Kenneth

@fesshole Are you single?

At restaurants, I eat by hand instead of using cutlery. My hand has been inside only my own mouth but forks and spoons have been inside everyone's mouth including those with horrible mouth infections.

Do you think @paramountplus and @TCL_Global could get together and get the paramount app to work on TCL tellys

.@TCL_Global why does the paramount app not work on your TVs, it keeps crashing? Sort it out!!!

Go blues!!! 💙

@Steven94n @merseyrail It works ok for me

Hey @merseyrail does Google pay not work on tap and go mine doesn't work do have to buy from counter

@anon_opin Coldplay?

There's no ongoing success story more baffling than that of the Sterophonics. Thirty pedestrian years of the same plodding numbers, sung in the same plodding whine by the same plodding fucking potato. Name a worse act with this long of a career. You cannot.

@FootballTalkHQ Don't know how you coped on only 25k a week you poor thing

🗣️ Micah Richards: "At 17 years old, I earned £5k-a-week. Manchester City offered me £100k-a-week for 5 years. I said no because I was number two to Zabaleta. It's the worst decision l've ever made. Why do you think I work for every broadcaster? I went to Aston Villa, that was less money. But then we got relegated in the first season, so my wages halved. So l've gone from a £100,000-a-week offer to like £25,000 in the Championship."

@fesshole Presumably this is the same residence depicted in Texas Chainsaw Massacre

As a pre-teen in the eighties I would go in the bath and my younger sisters would gather round chanting "bring out the Branston" from the popular advert. I would then proceed to squeeze out a teeny tiny poo to much applause. What can I say, the black & white TV was on the blink.

@DavidMcNally13 @McDonaldsUK Shurrup yoo

@Bennji1 @McDonaldsUK You're a grown man eating in McDonald's. Ha ha.

Great stuff @McDonaldsUK ordered on app and went through the drive through, they told us to park up, half an hour later walked back to the window and he said it'll be a few minutes and he's really sorry, another 15 minutes passes so I go back to the window and he went off 1/2

. @McDonaldsUK fast food? I don't think so, an hour wait

. @McDonaldsUK as we were in the drive through queue someone come out with the guys which was freezing cold, absolutely ridiculous

. @McDonaldsUK walking round aimlessly before I shouted him and showed the order on my app and he told me it hadn't been put through and I'd have to go through the drive through again 2/3

Do you not bother cooking the chips these days @McDonaldsUK

Have you ever noticed that when @McDonaldsUK get the delivery order wrong (every time), they always miss something out rather than add something on

Has anyone ever ordered @McDonaldsUK for delivery and got what you ordered?

@bbcmerseysport What's going on with that second paragraph? Speak English

📋 FA statement: Everton, Liverpool, Arne Slot and Sipke Hulshoff have been charged following the Premier League fixture between the clubs on Wednesday, 12 February. It is alleged that both clubs failed to ensure their players and/or technical area occupants did not behave in an improper and/or provocative way following the final whistle. The Liverpool manager allegedly acted in an improper manner and/or used insulting and/or abusive words and/or behaviour towards both the match referee and an assistant referee after the match had finished. It is alleged that Liverpool’s assistant manager acted in an improper manner and/or used insulting and/or abusive words and/or behaviour towards a match official, which led to his dismissal. It is further alleged that he acted in an improper manner and/or used insulting and/or abusive words and/or behaviour towards a match official after being sent off. Everton, Liverpool, Arne Slot and Sipke Hulshoff have until next Wednesday, 19 February, to provide their respective responses. #⃣ #EFC #LFC #MerseysideDerby

@InvertTheWing Wow, these are the witterings of a psychopath

Imagine a very ugly person, a hideous person. They have a teenage lover, quite an attractive one, model-esque, they grow up together, and they grow together. Suddenly this person goes from being ugly, to quite attractive, all due to the love and growth from his partner. They are made for each other. They grow together, they make each other better, went through everything together. they have been there since Day 1. No arguments, nothing. They get married, and continue a perfect relationship. But one day, someone else comes around. Someone not quite as attractive, not quite as perfect, but more famous. Let’s say, for analogy’s sake, the Hawk Tuah girl is sniffing around this relationship. Far from ugly, but not model-like, and has a lot of what they call “clout”. At first, it was nothing. But then it devolves into flirting, and eventually, it becomes an affair. One day, his wife announces she is pregnant. Tears of joy, happiness, Instagram Posts, Baby Showers. But admits all of that, this person is balancing 2 lives at once. This person isn’t as in love with her as his original partner, but he admires the success and PR he could get from her. He thinks it could catapult him as individual. Eventually, he makes the decision to call a divorce during the peak to their relationship. Whilst expecting kids. And leaving her stranded. All to get with this “Hawk Tuah Girl”. His original lover is still a model, she will still be well off. But she is also the reason he is successful in the first place, he is the reason he went from rags to riches. He made the decision to lose out on beauty, true love, all for some more attention. That is the Trent Alexander Arnold situation, as an analogy. It is disgusting.

@MrsMaher74 The bin

Best place for glitter for cocktails?

@Everton @NFFC BROJA STARTING!! Oh & Jack Harrison too…