Beth Teiken

Tell me you’ve never read the Bible without telling me you’ve never read the Bible

Ok I’m sorry wtf is going on with tik tok “pov’s”

Kid I nannied a couple of years ago: Do you have a boyfriend? Me: no Kid: what?? Why? It’s been two years! I know kid, I know.

I feel like people who had no side effects from the vaccine don’t speak up enough. I had no side effects. Don’t assume you will just because others do.

Overhearing two healthcare workers talk about how they’re not going to get the COVID vaccine has to be the most bizarre and wtf moment I’ve had in a while

ugh 🙄 bae caught me practicing in the backyard again 🙈

When you almost fall for a potential scam because it’s one of the only places looking for summer workers right now

The fact that my mom said “you look nice, where are you going?” when I came down in sweatpants and a t-shirt really says a lot about my appearance the past few weeks

It takes a lot of talent, stupidity, or both to make an entire dorm hall smell like fish

People who sing in the shower in a communal bathroom have an amount of confidence I can’t help but respect

Me and my sister hanging out like normal adults after beating the shit out of each other daily throughout our entire childhood twitter.com/Mr__Tweeets/st…

What exactly is Pinterest trying to say by advertising multiple shirts made for moms to me?

There are TWO great ways to support the team this weekend: 1. Join us TONIGHT from 8-11pm for MORP. Are you Country or Country Club? Admission is $7 with costume, $10 without. 2. Grab dinner TOMORROW from 4-8pm at Chipotle. Show this flyer at checkout!

Just 2 short nights before the shindig. Round up some friends and polish up a costume to get 3$ off admission! #CountryVSCountryClub #MORP #May17th

Tonight while I was babysitting the girls asked me if I could jump on the trampoline and play “1, 2, 3” with them so I could “double-bounce” them. It’s comforting to know that trampoline terminology hasn’t changed since I was their age.

I feel so uncomfortable when I’m getting food for me and brother and the person asks if we’re paying together or separate because they don’t realize we’re siblings and he’s also three years younger than me.