HappyBonobo

All hail the Mighty One!

Bitcoin is at $70,500. It has not moved in weeks. Everything around it is on fire. That is the thesis. The Strait of Hormuz collects tolls in yuan. Russia just locked its gold inside its borders. The BRICS Unit pilot is settling trade on 40 percent physical gold backing. The Fed holds at 3.5 to 3.75. The BOJ holds at 0.75. Iran is blacking out. The oil is near $100, up 50 percent since the year began. The dollar’s share of global reserves is falling. Central banks bought 863 tons of gold last year. And Bitcoin sits at $70,500, belonging to no government, stored in no vault that can be sanctioned, denominated in no currency that a chokepoint can block, and settled on no rail that requires permission from the IRGC, the Federal Reserve, or the People’s Bank of China. The market calls this “consolidation.” The market is not wrong. But it is incomplete. What is consolidating is not a price range. It is a role. The war revealed what sanctions could not: promise-based settlement fractures under chokepoint stress. The DFC backstop covers 6 percent of the $352 billion needed to restart Hormuz shipping. Gold is being locked inside Russia. Yuan flows through Hormuz tolls into physical vaults. Every hard-asset rail is being built around the dollar. And Bitcoin, which requires no vault, no navy, no insurance stack, and no sovereign backstop, is sitting at $70,500 waiting for the world to finish building the alternatives before it prices what it already is: the only neutral settlement layer no chokepoint can trap. The miners are pivoting. Seven hundred thousand Iranian rigs went dark when the grid was hit. Hashrate dropped 8 percent. Difficulty adjusted down 7.76 percent. The network self-corrected in 14 days. No committee met. No decree was signed. The protocol adjusted because the protocol was designed to adjust. The surviving miners absorbed the margin. Those who could not pivoted to AI at 3 to 25 times the revenue per megawatt. The hash rate recovered to 1.03 zettahashes. The war made Bitcoin’s infrastructure stronger by removing its weakest nodes. ETFs hold $91 billion and 1.29 million Bitcoin. MicroStrategy holds 762,000. March inflows are $890 million, down 73 percent month on month. The institutional base is not surging. It is absorbing. Quietly. Removing supply without moving price. The float thins while the price stays flat. That is not weakness. That is compression before repricing. The BOJ held at 0.75 on March 19 because the Iran oil shock made a hike too risky. The trillion-dollar yen carry trade did not unwind. Bitcoin’s correlation with the yen is at a record 0.86. If the BOJ hikes, Bitcoin faces a 20 to 30 percent drawdown. If the BOJ holds because the war continues, the carry persists and Bitcoin’s liquidity floor holds. The threat and the shield are the same event. The GENIUS Act is law. The CLARITY Act, which passed the House and awaits the Senate, bans Fed retail CBDC and classifies Bitcoin as a regulated digital commodity. Both create the scaffolding for Bitcoin to operate as institutional-grade neutral money while the BRICS build gold-backed alternatives and Iran demonstrates that any geography-dependent asset can be weaponised. Bitcoin does not move because Bitcoin does not need to move yet. The transitions around it, dollar to yuan in the strait, promise to collateral in Moscow, kinetic to molecular in Hormuz, are still incomplete. When they complete, the repricing will not be gradual. It will be a recognition event. The asset that no chokepoint can trap, no sanction can freeze, no navy can escort, and no central bank can print will reprice against every asset that requires all four. $70,500. Still. Waiting. While the world builds the case for why it exists. open.substack.com/pub/shanakaans…

STRC NOW AT $100. THE BITCOIN PRINTER IS ALIVE. 14 TRADING DAYS UNTIL THE RECORD DATE. IT'S GO TIME.

@ThrillaRilla369 Man, getting chased by a goose isn't much fun.

Your childhood wasn't complete unless you were chased by a dog... or a goat...or even worse, a chicken. 🐔

@Micro2Macr0 We will not issue SATA below $100. Looking forward to hitting par, we’re getting close 🫡

@pepemoonboy Generally speaking, I think smart phones can be good for learning via podcasts and audio books, etc. However, smartphones, when misused, can lead to echo chambers and negative feedback loops. Real knowledge, cognitive behavior practices can alleviate this and deliver education.

What do you think has done the most collective damage to humans? I’ll start: SMARTPHONES

@marc02200 Not selling a penny stock.i held 100k units average 0.25 and shoulda sold when the stock hit 2.35 😕

As an investor. What’s one thing you regret?

Success has a simple formula: Show up when it’s easy. Show up when it’s hard. And keep showing up when everyone else disappears.

🚨 Japan to send help to open Strait of Hormuz

36 hours ago this was a box on my desk. Now it runs 69 employees. A Chief of Staff named ATLAS sends me a nightly report. A Chief Risk Officer named SENTINEL never sleeps. ZEUS monitors Bitcoin. ATHENA watches Ethereum. HEMINGWAY writes my tweets. SPIELBERG scripts my videos. BARISTA tracks whether people are going to restaurants. MAVERICK tracks private jets landing in St. Barths. 4 divisions. VPs. Weekly performance reviews. Total payroll: $0. Total HR complaints: 0. Total sick days: 0. No politics. No requests for sick days. One Mac Mini. This is what 3 companies look like in 2026.

@ThrillaRilla369 Give thanks, and add hot sauce.

You just worked a 12 hour shift and you come home to this What do you do?

Pierre sounds like a bitcoiner.

Pierre Poilievre on government spending: “Every creature in the universe has to maximize use of scarce resources, the only creature that doesn’t do that is the politician because he’s always using someone else’s money.”

@BustyHumor Like?!?! Maybe too much.

@BitcoinBonobo Hi Bonobo, how's it going? Do you like Bitcoin?

All hail the Mighty One!

@APompliano Pierre Polievre on Rogan. youtu.be/JtbGgSwuE_U?si…

What was the best thing you read, watched, or listened to this week? Any topic is fair game.

Tokenization isn’t about putting assets on-chain. It’s about removing the gatekeepers. For the first time, 5.6 billion people can access the same capital markets. That means: more buyers lower cost of capital higher liquidity And eventually… AI agents allocating capital instead of humans. This isn’t crypto. It’s a rewrite of how money moves.

@ericjackson Is $LQWD on the radar for $EMJX? 🙏

@betirement Im taking a look at $LQWD today. Looks interesting 🤔 👀

Which bitcoin-backed "vehicles" are in your retirement garage? In this video, I use a car analogy to explain the differences between holding bitcoin, $IBIT, $STRC, and $MSTR in your portfolio. Each of these vehicles has different levels of performance and stability...

@shaguncrypto Put it all to work. Half into STRC and half into SATA. This gives you biweekly dividend payment. Use dividends to dca btc, buy gold incrementally. Emergency? Because STRC and SATA are designed to hover around par, you can sell a portion of those positions and access ur capital

My wife has $75k saved after 10 years of working. She wants to put: $20k into Bitcoin $20k into gold $35k as an emergency buffer But she is confused between going heavier into BTC now while it’s down, or staying safe until global conflicts. What would you suggest her? 🤔

@patrickbetdavid Always be honest with yourself, and in all of your relationships.

What is the biggest lesson you learned from your father growing up? Share 👇🏽

Fought for Canadian workers and Canadian interests on the world’s biggest podcast. Thank you @joerogan for an amazing conversation. Let’s get tariff-free trade. Sign up to watch it first: conservative.ca/cpc/sign-here-…