Steven Bloy

Warning, may contain devastating news! There is no Jalepeno wife!Someone hacked my Twitter account, deleted all tweets from the last 10 years apart from the first few then followed up on a terrible joke of mine and pretended to have been away from Twitter for 10 years. 💔

@offtheballbbc How did Bobby Moore get the Columbian police chief to let him go after his diamond theft?

Here’s (an even less animated than usual) Stuart and Tam with this week’s Terracing Teaser!

@offtheballbbc Manager - Sumo Valakari

Today's team of the week is the Martial Arts XI - featuring David Martial Arts himself, Ian Black belt, and Jiu Jitsu Paatelainen! Whack YOUR suggestions down below👇🥋

@offtheballbbc How much would you have to pay me to re-watch that Partick Thistle v St Johnstone game?

It could be you. It’s time for this week’s Terracing Teaser.

@offtheballbbc Manager would be Wilfred Nancy - He was very quick at getting the axe.

This weeks Team of the Week is the Firemen XI... 🧑‍🚒 Hose Quitongo... Gustaf Ladderbielke... The JET (Jay Emmanuel Thomas)! Who else makes the team? 🤔

@offtheballbbc Eddie Izzard

Who is the best example of someone who has made the transition between politics, acting and comedy? 🤔

@offtheballbbc In what year will they be singing "3074 years of hurt"?

It’s time for this week’s Terracing Teaser 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇫🇷

@marknelsoncomic Need more stramashes

See also XG, false 9, pivot and inverted full back. Modern YouTube shite

@marknelsoncomic Culkin - Home Alone 1 & 2, My Girl and Uncle Buck before he was 12.

Cruise - Top Gun, Magnolia, Rain Man, Jerry Maguire Di Caprio - Titanic, Inception, Wolf of Wall Street, The Departed Pacino - Godfather 1&2, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon De Niro - Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Deer Hunter Nicholson - Easy Rider, Chinatown, Cuckoo’s Nest

@offtheballbbc Who are the only British citizens less likely to be seen in a Pizza Express than Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor?

🇮🇹 È il momento del teaser delle terrazze di questa settimana 🇮🇹

@offtheballbbc Mascot - Hoopy the Cuddle Hound. Milk Tray Wilkins Holding Hans Gillhaus

The TOTW is the Romantic XI - featuring Kiss Boyd, Bob Valentine as the ref, and with all the matches played at Love St... Get YOUR suggestions in below👇🌹

@offtheballbbc Roses are red, Violets are blue, Was optimistic for June, Then remembered Peru.

🌺 Roses are Red, 💙Violets are Blue… 💖It’s the Terracing Teaser, 🥰You know what to do

@AlisonWalker_tv @fifa @BarrheadTravel

Having been unsuccessful in my application for World Cup tickets @fifa thought I’d have a look @BarrheadTravel World Cup packages. Just Brazil tickets x2, flights x4, 10 days accommodation for 3 adults and 1 five year old. How much do you think?

@AndiWithnail @marknelsoncomic @st_reilly @SPFLWatch Andi looks like a middle aged man. Looks familiar too. Would think he'd get it. Wonder what he'd think about it being renamed the Snolympics.

@marknelsoncomic @st_reilly @SPFLWatch Comedian apparently. Standard Scottish patter

The BBC's Milan Cortina coverage has been excellent, but stuff like this is utter nonsense and just undermines it. This is utter Barstool Sports nonsense.

@offtheballbbc Roses are red, Violets are blue, Craigan thinks why use one word, When he can use forty-two.

🌹In honour of Valentines Day, we would like you to complete the following limerick for Scottish football: Roses are red, violets are blue...

@offtheballbbc The team woukd be St Smirring

The team of the week is, specifically, the Rain XI - featuring Hosing Quitongo, Hamish Drench, and Hoopy the Puddle Hound... Get YOUR soggy suggestions in below👇🌧

@offtheballbbc Torrent Alexander Arnold

@offtheballbbc Surely for your first guest today, Born in the USA. The United States of Arbroath

Dedicated to someone or something in Scottish Football... We are looking for a Bruce Springsteen song to play us out this afternoon! Get your suggestions below or by text on 80295!

@offtheballbbc Dennis D.I.Yness

This week's Team of the Week is the IKEA XI 🇸🇪 Our captain, the meatball... John McGinn! Scott Allen Key and Shelf Olsen... Who else makes the team? 😏 Get your suggestions below or by text on 80295! 📲

@offtheballbbc Following an incident with an egg in a microwave, what did Barry Ferguson tell his team mate he'd heard was good for burns?

We hope your Burns Night was a beezer, Now here is this week’s Terracing Teaser! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@offtheballbbc Andy Considine. Famously wore A dress(to a haggis)

The Team of the Week is the Burns XI! Featuring: Bertie Auld Lang Syne, Haggus MacPherson, and Hans Gil-Louse... Get YOUR poetic suggestions in below👇✍️