Captain
14.5K posts

Captain
@CaptainElCapo
Food, baseball. photography, and money, not financial advice.
New Orleans / Houston Katılım Ekim 2016
897 Takip Edilen884 Takipçiler
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@GoatBallzTradez Dammit to hell, imagine giving $2k to the office of an attorney who would get charged with dog sex. HOW MUCH PEANUT BUTTER DID THIS SOB BUY WITH MY WILL PAYMENT MONEY
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@CaptainElCapo This is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen on this app. Please don’t ever leave us Cap 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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HOW TF WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW MY PROBATE ATTORNEY IS A DOG MOLESTER
GoatBallzTradez@GoatBallzTradez
@CaptainElCapo Your will was executed by a guy that has sex with dogs! LMAOOOOOO 🐐⚾️⚾️
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a guy can miss a woman and still be better off without her.
.@99hyce
An unpopular opinion about a guy
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@CaptainElCapo @theshellbelle Check and see if he gave everything to your dog
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‼️Houston attorney Steven Tyler Swain is now wanted on a felony bestiality charge in Harris County after prosecutors say video evidence showed repeated sexual contact involving the family dog.
According to court records filed in the 183rd District Court with Judge Lance Long, investigators were contacted by the Houston SPCA after a woman reported discovering disturbing surveillance footage recorded inside the family home near Providence Park in Houston.
The probable cause affidavit alleges the video showed Swain lying in bed exposing himself while repeatedly calling the small black dog, “Shipley,” over to him. The details that followed are genuinely sickening.
Court records state Swain’s wife told investigators she began reviewing home security footage after learning her husband had allegedly been bringing sex workers into the home. She states she had the cameras installed recently because the home was under renovation and they had contractors working in the home. She discovered the video while reviewing the footage. Authorities say she positively identified both Swain and the dog in the video. She then left him and took the dog with her and does not know his current location. She states she believes this may have happened more than once.
Records show Swain is a practicing Houston attorney. A warrant has now been issued for his arrest on the felony charge.
Sometimes the most disturbing cases are the ones hiding behind professional titles and closed doors.
Turn yourself in and get help.
Excuse me while I go throw up. 🤢



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@_falsi1ke No matter how long or short, the answer is still yes I’m a big dummy
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@CaptainElCapo @theshellbelle Just make sure there’s no kibble on your docs 😜
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@shitcon69 @theshellbelle True but the thought that I paid for the peanut butter he used to…. 😭
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@CaptainElCapo @theshellbelle This doesn't mean he's not good at preparing wills.
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@DogAlpha5000 @baseballbarry2 I did all the due diligence, and still, somehow I ended up with the worst kind of pervert preparing my legal documents 😭😭😭
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@CaptainElCapo @theshellbelle I’m sorry but this is funny because it’s you! 😆
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@RangoonRea51284 I gave $2k to the office of a dog molester. Officially the worst money I’ve ever spent in my life FFS
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@CaptainElCapo Hahahaha this is both hilarious and awful at the same time.
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@theshellbelle This just rocked my world today 😭 but thank you for sharing this. I do appreciate knowing who I’m doing biz with, and now who I’m not doing biz with.
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@CaptainElCapo Not enough soap in the world if you would have 😭😭😭
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@GoatBallzTradez Now I want a different kind of attorney. Fuck I can’t believe this, I’m going to sue his chomo ass off
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@theshellbelle Oh no I’d rather know than not know. This is crazy tho 😅 I met with one of his junior attorneys I guess, not him at least. So at least I never shook his hand, I’ve got that going for me 😂
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@theshellbelle Omg this isn’t happening lol. When I get home I’m putting a stop to my last payment, I’m not giving a penny to anyone who’s doing that. He can sue me I don’t care. Jfc this is nuts
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