Catherine Johnson

@DanielJHannan @DerekFlaunty ‼️

"The 6th biggest economy in the world is run by infantile fantasists with no understanding of financial markets.... There's nothing progressive about driving the economy of a cliff"📉⛰️ @LiamHalligan @ #BattleFest 2025 "From steel to railways: can the state revitalise British industry?"👨‍🏭🚆 👇

@moving_charlie Which lender is this?

That was faster than I feared.

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary, I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator. I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme. Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate. I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave. You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise. Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount. For £35,000 I will:    •   Leave quietly.    •   Not require a press conference.    •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.    •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport. I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme. Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus. Who knew? While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes. May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue. In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on. If successful, I promise to:    •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).    •   Not stage a protest on the runway.    •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice. All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV. Yours in hopeful relocation, A slightly confused taxpayer

Government abandons plans to postpone local elections in 30 council areas in May theguardian.com/politics/live/…

This is a brilliant evisceration by @JonathanPieNews of Keir Starmer, Peter Mandelson & the hollowed out husk that is the Labour Party - who have grotesquely morphed into a party for the corporate donors and a total betrayal of what they once stood for.

Or, allegedly, as it should be called 'The pinch of Salt Path '- hahaha, tell me Im first with that

@alexatperch Hi Alex I’m so sorry to hear about the impacts on Perch. We live in Worthing and love your restaurants! Kris Gumbrell of Brewhouse wrote this article in April saying the same. bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/25095154.…

Our NI payments are up from the same month last year by 56%. Wage bill is up by 8%. Astonishing movements have turned how we operate upside down. The idea we have more to come…staggering change

@HMLandRegistry is there a known fault with downloading documents? I can’t get past main search page.

@takebackwater Please use some hashtags to get more visibility for your great campaign!

Fed up of price rises and billion pound payouts to shareholders? It's time to get one back at the profiteers. We're building a mass non-payment campaign targeting the failed private water industry. Join us today 👇 takebackwater.uk

Martin Lewis is spot on here. Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves are waving through price rises across water, energy and council tax today. Shareholders get billions, we get shafted!

@CertaCito94 @tracylb24 @MartinSLewis @GMB @SouthernWater Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

@tracylb24 @MartinSLewis @GMB @SouthernWater Agreed, it's totally unacceptable even more so when you take into account Southern Waters pitiful customer service and negligence of customer data.

It's BILLS DAY tomorrow. Water, energy, broadband, mobile and council tax all rise. Yet there's ways to significantly cut costs on all of them. I'll be going through them when I present @GMB (alongside Susanna) tomorrow, so if you've got questions just ask here, and there producers will collate... PS if not used there I may also cover on my podcast on Wed

@Nickyhants @SouthernWater Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

Feeling sick! I live in a 3 bed semi-detached house, with one adult daughter who is rarely at home. The house cannot have a water meter installed so @SouthernWater holds me hostage and has put my monthly bill up from £48.70 to an eye-watering £73.29 a month - let that sink in!!

@mikej2504 @SouthernWater @Ofwat @UKLabour Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

Just remember customers of the thieving @SouthernWater, they are increasing prices by 47% as of tomorrow 1st April in order that their execs, managers & @ofwat can receive their bonuses & backhanders. Waved through by the corrupt @UKLabour Government!!

@TweetForTheMany Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater @SouthernWater

My wife has just told me that our Council Tax has gone up by £400 per year. 😐 Southern Water has increased water charges by 41%. I’m in an incredibly fortunate position, with no mortgage but I only got 1.25% wage rise this year. Some people are going to really struggle.

@BBCRadioKent Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

Figures released by DEFRA show that Southern Water discharged more than 300,000 hours of sewage into waterways in the south east. Water bills across England will increase on 1 April to pay for investment in water and sewage infrastructure.

@redney71 @PolitlcsUK @RosieDuffield1 Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

@PolitlcsUK @RosieDuffield1 I’ve just had an increase of over 50% in my water bill from Southern Water. £29 per month to £46.

🚨 The 'Awful April' bills & taxes going up from today: 🚿 Water: Up £10/month in England & Wales (variable) & 10% in Scotland ☢️ Energy: Up £111/year to £1,849 for typical households in England, Wales & Scotland 🏡 Council Tax: Up 4.99% in England, 4.5%–9.5% in Wales & at least 8% in Scotland - varies on region 🚗 Car tax changes: The exemption for electric, zero or low-emission cars ends. Those vehicles registered after today will pay £10 (year 1) then £195/year, those registered between 1 April 2017 - 31 March 2025 will pay £195, and those from 1 March 2001 - 31 March 2017 will pay £20. Electric & low-emission cars with a list price over £40k, registered from today, will also face a £425 luxury car tax, payable for 5 years starting in the car's second year. Existing car tax payers will see an increase of between £5 and £25 or their rate will remain the same - find your new rate here: gov.uk/vehicle-tax-ra… 📺 TV licence: Up £5 to £174.50/year (colour) & £57 to £58.50/year (black and white) 🚆 Rail: All ScotRail fares up by 3.8% after fares in England & Wales went up by 4.6% in March 📱📶 Mobile and broadband: For those on inflation-linked contracts, broadband prices will rise by an average of £21.99/year, with some newer plans seeing increases of up to £42/year. Mobile users will face similar increases, with an average rise of £15.90 for inflation-linked contracts and up to £48 for newer deals 📝 Stamp Duty Land Tax (SDLT): Stamp Duty Holiday ends - the 0% tax rate threshold will drop from £250k (£425k for first-time buyers) to £125k (£300k for first-time buyers)

@C19thCeleb Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

Ha ha Southern Water, you nearly got me there with your April Fool’s letter to say that you’re increasing my water bill by *55%* to service your huge debts and long-standing underinvestment in infrastructure … … oh wait 😠

@tracylb24 @MartinSLewis @GMB @SouthernWater Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

@MartinSLewis @GMB My @SouthernWater non metered bill . How can they get away with that increase?

@SaulStaniforth Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

"Southern water, 47% increase... of course its a total monopoly in water, you havn't got any option of switching" And despite Starmer previously promising to nationalise the industry, Labour are now sticking with the private water companies who will rip us off for years to come.

@MagpieStu69 @SouthernWater Withhold payment until they show genuine investment in sewerage management not spilling into the sea etc. See this site for campaign details @takebackwater

@SouthernWater how can you justify a 52% increase in my bill this year. Is this just a way of recouping some of money you’ve had to pay in fines for poor service and environmental damage. Disgusting.