Simon

@CharleyTarbuck just don't get hammered and swim naked in the lake else the police turn up and they are NOT happy

@CharleyTarbuck I have a feeling we went there!

@GabbyLogan @WillGreenwood anyone! help to retweet pls. My Vizsla bitch lost on Tooting common 3pm today. Skadu.

Don't panic #Brazil we've seen the next half line up and #Neymar is coming out of the tunnel

@Tim_McB @georgedalman no pirls no girls

@simonrim rimmer, next time I see you in Starbucks can I get a photo? #suits#sundaybrunch

@JamiePeacock10 so good!!!

Come on #Suarez

"Give him room at your peril." Neymar not the ideal house guest it seems

Live pictures of Yaya Toure!

Knocking the ball onto the next fair way and saying to the players on that hole.. "I'm just borrowing your fair way" #WorstBanter #Wanker

Hmm..what should I do tonight..oh yeah Game of Thrones is on. Fuck everyone, I'm eating a turkey leg in the bathtub and watching people die.

When your misses tells you she's made plans for you both this weekend. - No thanks. #PuttsB4Sluts #TheMasters

@Tim_McB @georgedalman @SciencePorn drinkkkk it frresher!

@darchms @dlt1988 @GerardButler ellllla sheeeeap an da boooooeeyyyy

IT'S FRIDAY! Kiss your loved ones. Do a little dance. Smile. Wave enthusiastically at other commuters. Hi-5 a cat. Go mad. FRIDAY.

My niece just asked for "cow juice." So adorable!!! I gave her a styrofoam tray of hamburger blood.