Ben

The red card for Lisandro Martinez for the hair tug on #LUFC’s Dominic Calvert-Lewin stands after #MUFC lost their appeal. Martinez will serve a three-match ban for violent conduct. The officials were deemed to have applied the current guidance on hair-pulling correctly.

Premier League table but based off the time to walk to each club's closest Greggs #MindTheGap

@24JamesASecond @ioscine Paul Potts is still out there touring. And from the list of gigs on his website, seems particularly popular in Germany 🤷🏼‍♂️

@ioscine i often wonder where Steve Brookstein is and Paul Potts

i wonder what frankie cocozza is up to these days

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

Jake Charles converts from twelve yards! 🔵 1-2 🔴 '87

19 years ago, a high school basketball coach put his team manager into a game for the final four minutes. The kid had never played a single minute of competitive basketball in his life. He scored 20 points. Jason McElwain was diagnosed with severe autism at age two. He didn’t speak until he was five. He couldn’t chew solid food until he was six. He wore a nappy for most of his early childhood. As a baby, he was rigid, wouldn’t make eye contact, and hid in corners away from other children. He tried out for his school basketball team every year and got cut every time. Too small. Too slight. Barely 5’6 and about 54 kilograms. But he loved the game so much that his mum called the school and asked if there was any way he could be involved. The coach created a team manager role for him. For three years, McElwain showed up to every practice and every game. He wore a shirt and tie on match days. He ran drills, handed out water, kept stats, and cheered every basket like he’d scored it himself. On 15 February 2006, the last home game of his final school year, the coach let him suit up in a proper jersey and sit on the bench. With four minutes left and a comfortable lead, the coach sent him in. His first shot missed. His second missed. Then something shifted. He hit a three-pointer. Then another. Then another. His teammates stopped shooting entirely and just kept passing him the ball. He hit six three-pointers and a two-pointer. 20 points in four minutes. The highest scorer in the game. When the final buzzer went, the entire crowd rushed the court and lifted him onto their shoulders. His mum tapped the coach on the shoulder, in tears. “This is the nicest gift you could have ever given my son.” McElwain won the ESPY Award for Best Moment in Sports that year, beating out some of the biggest names in professional sport. He’s 36 now. He works at a local supermarket, coaches basketball, has run 17 marathons including five Boston Marathons, and travels the country speaking about never giving up. When asked about that night, his coach still gets emotional. “For him to come in and seize the moment like he did was certainly more than I ever expected. I was an emotional wreck.”

The real relegation battle until the end of the season

All in one shot. [1/2] 📸 Hector Vivas

@rugbyexpansion International rugby has a real marketing problem that other major competitions just don’t have. A Fri-Mon only World Cup Rest weeks during 6N It breaks the flow and casual fans just don’t get as interested / involved

What the fuck is this mess? Opening with Hong Kong instead of Chile and only playing Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. One of the best things about major International tournaments is big games every day, including mid week. This is absolutely shite.

Me and who

four basic types of cop shows: 1. you won’t believe WHAT crimes we solve 2. you won’t believe HOW we solve crimes 3. you won’t believe WHERE we solve crimes 4. you won’t believe WHO we’re letting solve crimes

On this day in 2019 🗓️ We saw the most famous PowerPoint presentation in the history of football... Frank Lampard. Leeds. Marcelo Bielsa.

1 - Dominic Calvert-Lewin is the first player to win the Premier League Player of the Month award while playing for a newly promoted club since Teemu Pukki in August 2019, for Daniel Farke's Norwich City. Unlocked.

Ashes player ratings 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏏 Crawley 4/10 - this was they series they told us he would dominate. A couple of decent knocks but 70s & 80s don't win test matches. Disastrous start with a pair in Perth.

@ThePCCLondon It’s got to be Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Sing-a-long if you like “There was a rich man from Nottingham, Who tried to cross the river”

Hello friends. To start the New Year off right, we thought we'd throw out another DIGITAL REQUEST BOARD! So write your film requests in the comments below, and we'll do our best to get some of them on our screens. See you at the movies!

Man United and Celtic job available on the same day. If this was cm0102, David O’Leary has a tough decision to make

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. Two friends drink vodka and loudly tell political jokes in their hotel room. The third, exhausted, tries to sleep but cannot. Frustrated, he goes downstairs for a smoke. On the way, he asks the receptionist to bring tea to room 39 in five minutes. Returning upstairs, he joins them briefly, then leans toward a power outlet and says, “Comrade lieutenant, please send tea to room 39.” His friends burst into laughter at the joke. Moments later, a knock sounds… and the receptionist arrives with a teapot. The laughter dies; his friends turn pale and silent. The evening ends abruptly, and the tired man finally sleeps. In the morning, he wakes to find his friends gone. Alarmed, he asks the receptionist what happened. She whispers nervously, “The KGB came before dawn and took them.” Horrified, he asks why he was spared. “Comrade lieutenant really liked your tea joke.”

Funny situation with this Test. CA lost around $5 million by Perth ending on day two. Can assume it would be more at MCG given crowd size. Pay deal means players (across the board) get 27.5% of CA’s revenue. This Test ending today wouldn’t be good for them either. #Ashes

@justinwlacy @Caesar_X @pelicinema There’s a separate option for the abridged version. So you have three options when looking to pick it on Prime.

@Caesar_X @pelicinema I hope I’m wrong, but I think the B&W is also the “abridged” version that cuts out the entire segment where George sees what the world is like if he was never born.

it’s not supposed to be this way…