Charlotte

@MetroUK Needless to say, this isn't a term we'd use to describe the weather.

Christmas adverts: "Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It's Christmas!" New year adverts: "Look at what you've done to yourself, you fat sack of shit"

My parrot can’t say much, aside from “fuck off,” “what the fuck,” and “that’s nice,” but twice now he’s yelled “BOIL THE SPAGHETTI JIMMY,” at my cat.

2023 and the DVLA don't have a mobile layout for renewals

I'm convinced whenever someone refers to you as a lady you gain an extra wrinkle. "Let this lady past.". "Stay out of the lady's way"

If you’re without water in #Southampton, you can pick up bottled water until 10pm tonight 👇 💧 Places Leisure Centre, Eastleigh, SO50 9NL 💧 Costco, Southampton, SO15 8TA 💧 Applemore Leisure Centre, Hythe, SO45 5TN 💧 Gangwarily Leisure Centre, Fawley, S045 1GA

#StormCiarán has caused a major incident at our site which supplies water in #Southampton. Customers in postcodes SO40 and SO45 may find their water supply is impacted. Check ow.ly/jJA750Q3Hik for updates. We’re sorry for the disruption.

Think I've got covid and I've just sloshed a bit of peach and raspberry squash in my cottage pie, so I'm doing really well thanks

You can't have the big September spiders out and a temperature above 28oC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS

We're probably not supposed to say 'Indian Summer' anymore but whatever this is is fuckin horrible.

I've had a week off work and I don't want to go back, so I did a career quiz and one of the result categories covers my current job. So that was helpful.

Why does clicking back into a Word doc take fucking forever these days

This is the best FUCK OFFFFFFF ever recorded

MARY ALEXANDRRAA EARPS

FUUCKKK OFFFF. Go on Mary #WomensWorldCupFinal

I think we all have a few people in our work place we'd like to stamp on but unfortunately are never presented with the opportunity

THERE WILL BE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION CROWNED THIS YEAR! 🏆

SWEDEN ARE THROUGH!!! THEY HAVE KNOCKED OUT THE WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!! 🇸🇪

GREAT TIMES #SWEUSA #FIFAWWC