Fairly Tubular

[on my way out of the barber shop] Me: "Alright man, thanks for the impeccable head!" Barber: "Stop saying that!"

Referring to my 9-months-pregnant wife's belly as the "circle of life."

@jimjamjuggles baffled by how many people seem to believe they can influence how much they spend on a globally-traded commodity without, at any point, changing how much of it they consume.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from the NL Fuel Price group on Facebook. It’s that a significant amount of the population believes every MHA has access to some gold plated unlimited government credit card.

@patridesabike Pat, I apologize if my tone was unclear; I completely agree with you that whoever put that truck there is a gargantuan ass.

@Cheesefurter I only posted this pic because I’ve seen this truck parked like this a few times. It’s pretty disrespectful of the other folks who WORK at this building and need that entrance. I don’t know the owner of the truck but this is shitty parking.

Truck bro is taking up 2 parking spaces and blocking an entrance. The bed of this vanity pickup has never seen lumber. Nice lift, though.

@patridesabike not if your truck is large or you're in a rush, or some other unavoidable situation which clearly excuses such behaviour from The Protagonist of Reality

@Cheesefurter Had to block an entrance? there’s lots of parking downtown.

imo there are two good places to get sunglasses, and these are, in descending order: -found on the ground -job fair, or other such swag booths

@DanielSmith709 @KillerMike @ACCStJohns We can only hope.

@deffjonaldson @blairegolledge uhhh The Name of the Wind, or Predictably Irrational

@blairegolledge idk something objectively good, mildly popular but not tacky, maybe fiction but could also fk with some insightful anecdotal non-fiction (no biographies), queerness could be cute but not required

can anyone recommend me a book?

@michyboyhart that video whips ass, and also a lot of his other stuff is pretty funny too.

filling my pc with beans and hiring a repairman to fix it - is the title of the last YouTube video I watched. Just keeping it casual over here!

@HopeJ709 word

It's incredible how many times you get aggressively passed by drivers when you're cycling in St. John's only to end up at the same stoplight at the same time.

What on earth do they do to make the noodles so hot at Wok Box, Thai Express, etc. Never in my life have I prepared food that was still so scalding 18 minutes later.

@Kaffe_Takk @ClaraJeffery Wow yeah you're so right. Hello Fresh isn't even a sensible conjunction of those two words; it sounds like something that's been through google translate like 5 times.

@Cheesefurter @ClaraJeffery I feel the same about hello fresh. Hella fresh was just sitting there…

What fool named it a 'double IPA' instead of a Dualipa

"Wearing sunscreen is the worst way for your skin to feel - except for not wearing suncreen." -Winston Churchill

@kevinmarks @ClaraJeffery thank you for your service

@Cheesefurter @ClaraJeffery weebeershop.co.uk/product/brew-y…

very normal world where Las Vegas means 'The Meadows' and Nevada means 'Snow-Covered.'

@FreckleEars Bro call 311 next time. Pretty quick & simple.

@kirstenmorry @chipspopandabar ok, sorry.

@chipspopandabar @Cheesefurter I’m scolding both of you guys when you come back up to the top of the slide!!

My husband and I just realized that ours is an unlikely love across a great divide, inasmuch as I am a former Aquarena lifeguard while he is a former person who would blatantly misbehave on the water slides there