Chester Forbes

My old boss did a lot of stupid things, like, proper mental, but the funniest was when he was on the roof of our shop, and looked like he was about to leap the 6-foot distance to one of the other buildings. I said, "Jim, there's no way you'll make that jump."

Could we make the tweet font a little larger? I’m trying to drive.

*me getting my oil changed* mechanic: “we’ve also notice that—“ me:

Jeans might be the single most overrated item in the world today So many better, comfier options for pants

When Shania Twain says “Let’s Go, Girls” and I’m two rooms away

After Bin Laden was killed, a teacher told us they buried his remains at sea and another kid just nodded and said "Like Megatron"

Guys updating their online dating profile pictures after the new UPS driver contract was announced.

you know that dish that's not quite a plate not quite a bowl. it's like a deep frisbee. that's the best dish.

This is the greatest sporting moment I’ve ever seen

Kid just broke the Rubik’s cube world record at 3.13 seconds. Greatness comes in all walks of life!!

we’re so fucked

I remember looking into a VCR as a kid and wanting to live in there

I still think about this

every american president, but they're all cool and they all sport a mullet 46. Joe Biden

Space gorilla making a comeback today on twitter.

I’m able to control the micro plastics in my body

Reminder that there's no "proper" way to do CPR and it's totally normal to have your own style and technique. Be you!