Clancy

*mouth bleeding from chips* “Excuse me? Yes, can we get more chips?”

Why do I basically need to use a PTO day to open up a new pair of socks? There’s no need for this much packaging.

@Dustiebtbam @gibsonguitar @prsguitars Private Stock bros 🎸

@UPS your driver said a UPS store was closed that I was expecting to pick up a package from earlier today, but they’re open. Can you help make arrangements for for me to pick it up today?

“The chips are hand-tossed!” …did…did you break my chips? It sounds like you broke my chips.

Twenty One Pilots absolutely crushed their Game Awards performance.

What an insanely talented performance! 👏 @tylerrjoseph

if all health insurance CEOs live in fear of being murdered maybe premiums will come down

@nypost Was it Elmer Fudd in his hunt for rabbits? 🐰

Wife of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson says her husband had been receiving ‘some threats’ prior to fatal shooting trib.al/XyWZV0h

~90 days back in the gym

Growing up, Homelander dreamed of working at his local Vought A Burger. Recently, his wish came true, as Vought shut down a restaurant and staged pre-selected customers, so Homelander could “serve” “people” “food.” Thanks, Homelander, for showing everyone how you’re a true man of the people!

VIOLIN. CORE.

when ppl ask if I have any hobbies

the vegetables in my freezer watching me grab pizza rolls again

If it’s not out of whack, is it in-whack? Just whack is also bad 🧐

@theelderemox Must be a Seinfeld fan.

Just met a man and he goes “you have a big head” most insane thing to ever be said to me much to think about