Lisa

@fesshole Have you got any fanny from this?

I recently discovered that women get really turned on at the sight of a bloke on the tools wearing the snickers work wear with all the pockets. I've even started wearing mine to the pub on my days off. I don't even work on the tools, I work in a bank.

@fesshole You're probably on the Spectrum

When I put the bins out I do it so the handle is facing outwards so the bin men don't have to turn it round. Inside I feel a sense of philanthropy and compassion and look down on all my neighbours who don't do this as unpleasant Tory bastards who don't care about the working man.

@SoVeryBritish Victory!

There should be a word for when you’re trying to tease a biscuit out from halfway down a particularly tight packet without breaking it. What should that word be?

@SoVeryBritish Fuck!

Write a one-word horror story. I’ll go first: “SURPRISE!!!”

#EastEnders Siouxsie and the Banshees #Spellbound playing in the Minute Mart. Also, playing in The Queen Vic the other week. Who's the secret Goth?

Leonard it is!

I'm getting a kitten soon! Names in the forefront are: Leonard or Jimiaow Hendrix. Votes on a postcard, please

#EastEnders Siouxsie and the Banshees playing in The Queen Vic tonight. Shame on Albert Square for having no appreciative Punk Goths in the background of that scene

@NHSMillion When are the Band 2/3 Admin and Reception staff going to strike for for fairer pay?

We are right behind the consultants and all the other NHS staff who are fighting for fair pay and working conditions and in turn the future of the NHS. Please RT if you are too.

@23rodge @fesshole That properly made me chuckle

@fesshole My Mam's cousin used to call his Dad Uncle Bob because all the kids in the street did as he worked in confectionery & gave away his freebies to the local kids. His Mam had to sit him down to tell him to call him Dad after he'd told his teacher his Mam sleeps with his Uncle Bob

I'm an English guy living in Denmark. Because my kids called me Daddy, all the other kids on our road thought that this was my actual name and also called me Daddy. We all laughed, including the neighbours, but deep down it felt strangely good.

@ITVXhelp I'll give it a try tomorrow. Thank you

@CosyDunt Can you please power cycle the device by turning it off at the mains and back on after 60 seconds, restart your network connection, uninstall/reinstall the ITVX app and check for software update by selecting Settings > My Fire TV > About > Check for Updates 🧰⚒️

@ITVXhelp Hi, the quality of streaming is extremely poor on everything I've watched so far. It seems the adverts are the only thing to play without interruption

@ITVXhelp It made no difference at all. Any other tips to try, please?

@CosyDunt Can you please clear the cache on the Amazon Fire by going to Settings on your Fire TV > Select Applications > In Manage Installed Applications, select ITVX > Select Clear Cache, and then Clear Data 📺🛠️

@ITVXhelp I'll give it a try. Thank you

@ITVXhelp I'm accessing it via my Amazon Firestick

@CosyDunt Oh No! 😞 Can you please tell me what device you are using so we can offer some troubleshooting steps to try? 📺📱

. @ReeceShearsmith @SP1nightonly I'm also covering the Eye Hospital this week (cos I'm so fucking efficient and big up to the #NHSCrew) . InsEYEde No. 9.NEYEne? #InsideNo9 #HydroxyChloroquine

Never have I been more jealous of a fucking bean bag

Hi, @ReeceShearsmith @SP1nightonly. I work in a hospital on Level 9 - Endoscopy and Digestive Diseases. Possible idea for a future episode of #InsideNo9 ?

I'll miss you in my eyes until the next series @ReeceShearsmith and @SP1nightonly #InsideNo9

@InnerDemons10 Glad to have helped. Watch out for those squirrels, my dear

@CosyDunt It's a great justification for rewatching every series 3784116 times

I think #Taskmaster has diagnosed me with ADD. Whenever the tasks are explained, I totally zone out and then am left trying to work out what weird things the weird people are doing. Ooh, look at the squirrel!