Cuckoo Taboo

Being in the military, my kids are used to moving around a lot... Because I use them for target practice. . PS...That's all for now folks...No rest for the wicked! 😇

Pirates! on the Commodore 64 remains one of the greatest open-world adventures ever coded — sail the Caribbean, hunt Spanish treasure fleets, duel rival captains, and rise from lowly buccaneer to legendary pirate legend in Sid Meier’s timeless classic! Who is a fan of this Commodore 64 game?

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon and about to do the deed... The wife stops the husband unexpectedly. "Darling," she says. "I am afraid I have a dark secret to tell you, and I haven't been entirely honest with you." "Sweetheart, no matter what you have done in the past I will forgive you." "Well," she starts. "I used to be a hooker." "My dearest," he replies. "That is no problem for me. To be honest I'm a little turned on. Tell me more." "Ok then, my name was Brian and I played for Wigan."

The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus... They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of £1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old sergeant-major who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived at the barracks in the UK and instructed the sergeant-major to 'drop 'em', which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant's penis and began to work back. 'Dear Lord,' The medical officer suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your balls?' The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'

Update: Michael Bay and Universal are officially developing a movie about the massive rescue mission of the F-15E crew shot down by Iran last month.

Jon Stewart: "What are you in late night, No. 1?" Stephen Colbert "I think we are, yeah. I don't know anymore. Doesn't really matter." Stewart: "I just think it's so smart what CBS is doing. It's such a good move. To take this show off the air, and then to also ruin your Evening News, and then reduce 60 Minutes to like six good ones. I think it's so smart." Stewart: "Here's what I believe they're doing: I think they're tanking for a draft pick."

@verbalriotshow LGBTQ+ DEI wokeness controls everything...

Anthony Starr deserved better. #TheBoys

@DATGUYCOOP Now, fire Holly Longdale and all will be perfect...

HUGE W! This guy made all the stuff I love! Like he puts alot of heart in his systems and stories, this is great talent returning! -Class Halls, and Artifact questlines -Pet Battles system. -Talador (Warlords of Draenor), Argus (Legion), and Stormsong Valley (Battle for Azeroth).

Geoffrey, a middle-aged British tourist on his first visit to California finds the red light district and enters a large brothel... The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away. The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Geoffrey's. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves. Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson. So she goes over to Geoffrey and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap. He leans forwards and whispers in her ear, "Can I pay in Pounds?"

Science….

@WeskerIsRight Crap writers.

People who should never write anything ever again

A woman hears a knock. When she opens the door, a man asks, “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door in disgust. The next morning, the same man knocks and asks the same question. She slams the door again. That night, when her husband gets home, she tells him what happened. In a loving voice, he says, “Honey, I’m taking tomorrow off to be home in case this guy shows up again.” The next morning they hear a knock and both run to the door. The husband whispers, “Honey, I’ll hide behind the door and listen. If it’s the same guy, answer yes. I want to see where the bastard is going with this.” She nods and opens the door. Sure enough, the same man is there and asks, “Do you have a vagina?” “Yes, I do,” she says. The man replies, “Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours?”

My Daddy told me this is why different branches of the military have so much trouble communicating... They all have different vocabulary. For instance: "Secure that building." Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside. Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests. Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors. Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy.

Let’s be VERY clear about what we just witnessed: A foreign country just purchased a congressional seat. We live in foreign occupied territory.

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool... The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"? Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war". Whatta legend... 🥰👍🇬🇧

Camouflage training at the US Military Acadamy in Texas... Captain: I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT THE CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY, JOHNSON!! Johnson: Thank you Sir!

@RDorsVenabili Andor was poorly written and its rhythm is so boring that you can cut 50% of the content and still not lose anything...

Rogue One didn't need a prequel, and certainly did not need Andor – the most boring Star Wars production ever made. Andor is probably the most overrated hype-bandwagon in the history of film, and a poor parasite cousin to Rogue One.