Dan Stangroom

@Philip_HarrisUK Teacher: “Can you make it work?” Technician: “Yes, but not honestly.”

Your pun our towel! Is your best science pun funny enough to make our 2026 tea towel? Win £500 worth of resources for your school. Winner will be revealed at the 2026 ASE Annual conference. UK education establishments only

@Philip_HarrisUK What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.

@Philip_HarrisUK What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes.

@HighwaysSEAST What’s the deal with the variable speed limits and lane restrictions that never come to an end? How many unlit gantries do I pass before safely assuming you’ve forgotten to tell us it’s over?

@SurreyRoadCops Thank you - so many fog lights used inappropriately and dazzling others. In lots of veh’s they switch off with the headlights but some latch independently, would love to know what % forget they’re on as opposed to deciding to turn them on each time they drive.

Vehicle stopped in Reigate. They had their front fog lights on. They were missing one vital ingredient...fog. Learn what switches do what and what instrument lights mean what. Then learn when to use said lights.

@SurreyStageCrew Baked Camembert 9/10, next year a wheel for each of us? #SurreyDecides

@SurreyStageCrew Should I grab some before the Camembert is done? Don’t want to ruin my palate... #SurreyDecides

#SurreyDecides Rudely cut off by the twitter wall. Vignotte: Intensely creamy, light, rich yet buttery texture. Slight lemony taste, strong aroma. 8/10.

Ban the Biro #SurreyDecides

@amyruth_ Nothing to do with our inability to arrange a group holiday?

@cpc_tweet How is farnell the slowest website on the internet? All I see is "Waiting for cpc.farnell.com..." "Waiting for uk.farnell.com..." "Waiting for onecall.farnell.com...". Can you send me a paper catalogue so I can actually buy something?

@McDonaldsUK Thought my cup looked a little underfilled, plenty of milk under the froth but it’s missing the coffee part ☕️

@SW_Help @GWRHelp Will do, ta

@DanStangroom @GWRHelp Hi Dan, I'm afraid the Twitter team don't access to our delay repay teams systems or case files. Please give the team a call on 0345 6000 650 and someone will be able to assist. ^JM

@SW_Help RE: Ref. DR-8873-8901 Can you elaborate on how @GWRHelp are responsible for the delay to your service on 18/03/18?

@RSComponents Do you even have a webmaster?

@surreylib @UniOfSurreyIT This was on level 2 west side, unsure if other areas are affected

@surreylib Lovely to have the extra hire laptops now, but they don’t actually work when @UniOfSurreyIT WiFi APs can’t handle the number of people connected

@SpotifyUK Can we have a little more variety to video/audio ads on Spotify free? If I have music on all day I hear just the same half-dozen ads over and over again. Surely that can't be an effective advertising strategy.

Thrilled to be kicking off my MSc project with @UniOfSurrey, @SpaceAtSurrey for @SurreySat looking at designing high performance, low profile antennas for small satellites. Exciting times ahead!

@flir Third party apps for the Flir One arent detecting my camera after updating to iOS 11.2, is this a bug?

@virginmedia Question: I don't have to use your supplied router with my VM internet connection, so why are there restrictions imposed on the SH3 that stop me doing what I want with my network? What's the point?