David Murphy

She's filming her best friend, who can't see anything without her glasses, sitting at the wrong table.

Cornwall: Missing girl, Camborne. Her family are frantic looking for her Please share x

My phone was stolen two years ago. I’m pretty sure that all my messages reappeared on my new phone once I set it up.

@wallaceme I bet he was great at darts

🎶 The Face of Spades 🎶

Labour are going to need a better story about Morgan McSweeney’s phone. When precisely was it stolen? Where was it stolen? What were the circumstances of the theft? And why can’t McSweeney access his old WhatsApp account using the recovery process? faq.whatsapp.com/11973470609928…

Trump has shared it 😂 Keir Starmer is a laughing stock. What an embarrassment he has become.

@messiah_07 @SpursOfficial If you're going to try and be funny, at least check facts first.

@SpursOfficial Tottenham first Championship game away against Sheffield Wednesday next season:

Defeat in N17.

🚨 Missing: Alfie, 15 Last seen in Rushden at 5pm Sat (21 March). May have travelled to Brighton or Eastbourne. 5’11”, dark blond hair. Wearing dark grey hoody, black jacket & black tracksuit. 📞 Seen him? Call 999 ref MPE1/870/26.

If it's any consolation to #spurs fans, I still don't think you'll go down

@WilliamShatner @fredgs05 At 95, you can do whatever the fuck you want, mate.

At 95, I'm still smokin'! 😝 I’ve learned two things: Never waste a good cigar. Never trust anyone who says you should ‘act your age.’ 😉👍🏻

@AvonandsomerRob Not at all.

Just saw a parent putting sun cream on their kid in the UK in MARCH. Are they crazy?

@CharltonYooof I don't think Wrexham would be happy for us to sell their player

My sale list in the summer, nothing personal they’re all good lads just hasn’t worked out and not the standard. Att; Oloafe, Apter, Godden (Sadly), Kanu (For a good fee) Mid; Costello, Coady, Berry. Def; Gillesphey, Burke, Chambers (too slow & pricey) #CAFC

9 years ago today, fellow Charlton Athletic fan Keith Palmer was taken from us. Rest in Peace #cafc

@BikerGary17 @CadburyUK Nope, me neither

If Easter is not on the packaging, I'm not buying it. @CadburyUK

@TPointUK Poor Zack will soon find out that, when posed a difficult question, you can't just shake hands and walk away.

Zack Polanksi confronted over his dodgy hypnotism history.

They think so little of us, they can't even be arsed to come up with a decent lie.

ANDREW NEIL: We’re heading into what could be the greatest energy emergency ever with a bunch of clueless inadequates at the tiller mol.im/a/15665931

@thesundaysport She sounds lovely

Dolly Mixture for breakfast is not wise for a man of my years, is it?

@GBNEWS @captainbudhell1 Of course it was

Mobile phone filled with Lord Mandelson's messages 'stolen' in hammer blow to parliamentary probe gbnews.com/politics/morga…