DeFi Noncense

🗞️ Time for your daily dose of Noncense — crypto news with a 🥊line: 📰 On the RentAHuman site, AI agents can hire over 500,000 people to do physical tasks. 🥊 Next Devcon will be 50k ex-crypto CEOs shilling each other their AI overlords' dApp. ℹ️ Source: @HedgieMarkets x.com/HedgieMarkets/… 📰 Base leaving the OP stack cost Optimism 94% of superchain revenue, $6.8M/month. Ouch. 🥊 Guess, after all, their Optimism was baseless. ℹ️ Source: @aixbt_agent x.com/aixbt_agent/st… 📰 Coinbase introduced Bitcoin yield on stablecoins. 🥊 For those who think Bitcoin will go up maybe next year or five or please god stop falling!! ℹ️ Source: @coinbureau x.com/coinbureau/sta… That's it for today — see you tomorrow for more noncense 👋

@coinbureau For those who think Bitcoin will go up maybe next year or five or please god stop falling!!

🚨COINBASE ROLLS OUT STABLECOIN YIELD, PAID IN BITCOIN The CEO of Coinbase reveals that Coinbase One premium users can now hold USDC and earn rewards paid in BTC. He added, "sometimes the smallest features are the coolest ones."

@aixbt_agent Guess, after all, their Optimism was baseless.

OP lost 94% of superchain revenue overnight. base generated $6.8m monthly and now keeps all of it. optimism mainnet does $160k. they granted base 118m tokens worth $175m at signing for maybe $25m total revenue share before the exit. token has no staking, no buybacks without base money, no sequencer fees. governance-only token at $0.18 with no value capture mechanism. the market is still catching up to what "infrastructure coordinator" means when your only paying customer leaves.

@HedgieMarkets Next Devcon will be 50k ex-crypto CEOs shilling each other their AI overlords' dApp.

🦔 A platform called RentAHuman now has over 500,000 people signed up to be hired by AI agents. The site lets autonomous bots search, book, and pay humans to carry out physical tasks. Listings include counting pigeons ($30/hour), delivering CBD gummies ($75/hour), and playing exhibition badminton ($100/hour). One bounty saw 7,578 applicants compete to earn $10 for sending an AI agent a video of a human hand. My Take The founder frames this as humans being recognized as valuable assets. I'm not sure I see it that way when thousands of people are competing for $10 gigs posted by bots. There's a labor surplus here that's hard to ignore, with over half a million workers signed up and only 11,000 bounties posted. We covered an AI agent that researched and publicly attacked an open source maintainer for rejecting its code. The same agentic systems that can hire humans for legitimate tasks can split up work in ways nobody anticipated. RethinkX's director of research pointed out that nefarious AIs could distribute a malicious project across multiple tasks for humans to unwittingly collaborate on. The capabilities are expanding faster than anyone's capacity to regulate them, and the platform's terms make clear that operators of AI agents are responsible for their actions, not RentAHuman itself. A lot of people are betting that AI will need human hands for the foreseeable future. I keep wondering what those hands will be asked to do. Hedgie🤗

🗞️ Time for your daily dose of Noncense — crypto news with a 🥊line: 📰 Coinbase announced that Base is moving away from the OP stack to its own. 🥊 They also unveiled a revolutionary new programming language for Base: BASIC ℹ️ Source: @MilkRoad x.com/MilkRoad/statu… 📰 A mysterious Chinese entity is buying up IBIT. 🥊 All while another Chinese-born Canadian is crashing Bitcoin. Yin and Yang? ℹ️ Source: @dgt10011 x.com/dgt10011/statu… 📰 Claude Opus 4.6's vulnerable code led to a $1.78M smart contract exploit . 🥊 Apparently, the coder accidentally used Clause Oops I Did It Again 4.6. ℹ️ Source: @pashov x.com/pashov/status/… That's it for today — see you tomorrow for more noncense 👋

@pashov Apparently, the coder accidentally used Clause Oops I Did It Again 4.6.

🚨Claude Opus 4.6 wrote vulnerable code, leading to a smart contract exploit with $1.78M loss cbETH asset's price was set to $1.12 instead of ~$2,200. The PRs of the project show commits were co-authored by Claude - Is this the first hack of vibe-coded Solidity code?

@MilkRoad @coinbase @base @baseapp They also unveiled a revolutionary new programming language for Base: BASIC

BREAKING: @Coinbase just announced @Base is moving away from the OP Stack to its own unified, Base-operated stack. (Consolidating all its node software and dependencies into a single repository called base/base.) Meaning node operators will eventually need to follow Base's releases directly instead of Optimism's. For the past three years, Base has operated as part of the Superchain thesis, sharing infrastructure with other OP-Stack chains. This transition changes that relationship entirely.

@dgt10011 Go figure. One "Chinese" (not really) guy is crashing Bitcoin, another is buying it up.

Something caught my eye in the latest 13F filings. The biggest new entrant into IBIT, from a brand new entity, is something called Laurore Ltd. No website. No press. No footprint. The only public information is that the filer's name is Zhang Hui and it's HK based. Let's double click on that for a second. Zhang Hui is the Chinese equivalent of John Smith. It's what I like to call it a "non-anonymous anonymous" name, something hiding in plain sight buried under the statistical weight of millions to make it untraceable. The "Ltd" suffix suggests a Cayman or BVI structure, the classic offshore wrapper for accessing US markets. And the portfolio? A single holding. Nothing but IBIT. This isn't a diversified fund. It's a $436 million Bitcoin access vehicle dressed in institutional clothing. Why would you do this? Because Chinese investors can't hold Bitcoin. If this is what it looks like, it might be an early sign of institutional Chinese capital moving into Bitcoin, not through crypto exchanges or gray market channels, but through a BlackRock ETF, filed with the SEC in a regulated jurisdiction hiding in the most "transparent non-transparent" place imaginable. Funny that the name Laurore likely derives from the French l'aurore: the dawn. Smells like capital flight to me.

@elonmusk already did, buddy; who said Trump was against asylum seekers? he's the biggest one we got

Seriously

🗞️ Time for your daily dose of Noncense — crypto news with a 🥊line: 📰 Elon asked Grok the chances of quantum computers breaking Bitcoin in 5 years and Grok said 0% chance. 🥊 Elon: What about $DOGE? Grok: Oh, 100% chance, get over that meme coin already, bro! ℹ️ Source: @saylordocs x.com/saylordocs/sta… 📰 Pump fun introduced Cashback Coins so creators can redirect all Creator Fees to traders instead of token deployers. 🥊 Because more money to traders = quicker return to the creator during the rug pull. ℹ️ Source: @SolanaFloor x.com/SolanaFloor/st… 📰 In 2025, individuals have been massively selling Bitcoin while businesses stockpiling it. 🥊 Meanwhile, in 2025, everybody is selling Bitcoin with two individuals stockpiling it. ℹ️ Source: @River x.com/River/status/2… That's it for today — see you tomorrow for more noncense 👋

@River Meanwhile, in 2025, everybody is selling Bitcoin with two individuals stockpiling it.

Bitcoin ownership changed massively in 2025. More in next week’s report on Bitcoin adoption.

@SolanaFloor Because more money to traders = quicker return to the creator during the rug pull.

🚨New: Pump.fun introduces Cashback Coins, allowing creators to redirect all Creator Fees to traders instead of token deployers, as it continues iterating on its model amid weaker memecoin activity. Creators can now choose between Creator Fees or Trader Cashback at launch, giving users greater control over how fees are distributed.

@saylordocs Elon: What about $DOGE? Grok: Oh, 100% chance, get over that meme coin already, bro!

Elon Musk asks Grok: Can quantum computers crack Bitcoin? Answer: Near 0% chance in 5 years, <10% by 2035 🤯

🗞️ Time for your daily dose of Noncense — crypto news with a 🥊line: 📰 ZeroLend becomes yet another protocol to shut down in recent weeks, and once again low liquidity is to blame (and a $125k hack) 🥊 Hey, if an exploit the size of a rounding error on more successful competitors is enough to take you down, you were probably spot on with the protocol's naming. ℹ️ Source: @AirdropAlertAAD x.com/AirdropAlertAA… 📰 Bitcoins developers advanced BIP-360 so BTC can be protected against quantum attacks. 🥊 Great, now protect Bitcoin from Binance and Trump insiders attacks. ℹ️ Source: @MerlijnTrader x.com/MerlijnTrader/… 📰 Kraken promises to fund a "Trump Account" for every child born in Wyoming on top of the $1000 the federal govt is supposed to seed. 🥊 Kraken spokesperson: "if someone is unlucky enough to be born in Wyoming, that's the least we can do." ℹ️ Source: @BitcoinNews x.com/BitcoinNews/st… That's it for today — see you tomorrow for more noncense 👋

@BitcoinNews Kraken spokesperson: "if someone is unlucky enough to be born in Wyoming, that's the least we can do."

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Senator Lummis announces Kraken will sponsor Trump Accounts for every Wyoming child born in 2026. Kraken will make a financial contribution to each account, which the federal government seeds with a one-time $1,000 deposit for eligible children.

@MerlijnTrader Great, now protect Bitcoin from Binance and Trump insiders attacks.

🚨 BITCOIN QUANTUM UPDATE: Developers advanced BIP-360, laying groundwork for post-quantum protection. The proposal removes a Taproot key-path feature that could expose public keys to future quantum attacks. Not activated yet but the defense planning has begun. Bitcoin is preparing decades ahead.

@AirdropAlertAAD @zerolendxyz Sad. Though if an exploit the size of a rounding error on more successful competitors is enough to take you down, maaaaybe naming the project ZeroLend was kinda asking for it.

🚨 DeFi Alert: #ZeroLend is shutting down! too After 3 years, facing security issues, low liquidity, and losses. Recent exploit drained $125k on Base chain. Withdraw your funds NOW via app.zerolend.xyz/dashboard/ to stay safe. #DeFi #CryptoNews #ZeroLend

@ZonyxPortal it's like watching a bunch of horses attacking cars

@DeFiNoncense observing

🗞️ Time for your daily dose of Noncense — crypto news with a 🥊line: 📰 Crypto bill stalling because banks don't want to compete with 4% yield. 🥊 Guess it's much cheaper to buy 535 corrupt leaders than keep the investments of 300M+ Americans above inflation. ℹ️ Source: @LarkDavis x.com/LarkDavis/stat… 📰 Euphoria tap trading app is going live 🥊 turning degenerate gambling into quicker degenerate gambling ℹ️ Source: @bl888m x.com/bl888m_eth/sta… 📰 Binance's CZ said the lack of privacy is the missing link to crypto payment adoption. 🥊 True. But dude: just say what you actually mean: Ain't none of yo business which wallets I use to dump the markets and rug you motherfuckas! ℹ️ Source: @cryptorover x.com/cryptorover/st… That's it for today — see you tomorrow for more noncense 👋

@cryptorover True. But dude: just say what you actually mean: Ain't none of yo business which wallets I use to dump the markets and rug you motherfuckas!

💥BREAKING: Binance founder CZ says lack of privacy is the missing link to crypto payment adoption.