Audreyana Holiday

TRUMP: "This war has been won" TRUMP MINUTES LATER: "People don't like me using the word 'war,' so I won't" ALSO TRUMP DURING SAME EVENT: "They call it a war. I call it a military operation"

@foie Thank you for reminding me.

did you know the dog in the tutorial of fallout new vegas can die? i didn’t

@madisontayt_ Happened to me too. I was starting to read a post on the lower third and it just disappeared. Algo is haunted.

we all know about the tl refreshing and you miss the tweet that was at the top but more and more that’s happening mid scroll. i was just on my tl and tried to read a tweet as i was scrolling, didn’t even click on it, and it disappeared

@Feldfrog Cartographers everywhere going apoplectic every time it ALMOST hits Malaysia.

The state of Israel should move around the Middle East constantly like a dvd logo, bouncing when it hits bodies of water

@Feldfrog The slow swell of excitement as it bounces between Georgia and Azerbaijan up towards Russia like it’s about to hit a corner.

Conspiracy theorists? How about Sphere earthists

Doing it and doing it and doing it adequately.

@thisislux With.. jelly salsaaaaaaaAAAAA??????

just invented peanut butter nachos

@MarioNawfal Are We The Baddies memes incoming.

What the hell is going on? Why did Tulsi just state Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, AND Pakistan are all building advanced missiles, nuclear & conventional, that can hit the U.S, and are becoming a threat?

@alexawhereami Wow, crazy. We should try that with companies.

you ever wonder why we dont build with big stones like in the olden days, and only in small stones like the modern days? its because we broke up all the big stones (boulders) and now we only have little ones (bricks) to work with. makes you think.

@LauraLoomer Never mind the Dragonscale

Someone just slashed my tire... I'm honestly speechless. 1 week after someone doxed me.

@TheWapplehouse @wapplehouse Omg I had this happen TO me. I wonder… I didn’t notice but I saw my Starbucks card history and, even though I hadn’t used the card in months if not years, it had been reloaded dozens of times.

Years ago I found a Starbucks gift card in a car I was detailing (not a customer car) so I kept it and used it many times over a period of years, always surprised it still had money on it and never checking the balance just for the thrill and then one day the cashier asked me if I wanted to reload it and I realized I’d been using a card attached to someone’s app the whole time and they just kept putting money on it and I kept stealing it so I did the right thing and used it a few more times then threw it away

Can’t wait for the super bloom that casts us into dystopia.

I drank water out of a water cup the cat drank out of am I ok

@unusual_whales More specifically he said it wouldn’t hurt the economy but it WOULD hurt the consumer. So, the citizens will suffer but think about how the GDP will react to all of these military weapon manufacturer contracts!

White House Adviser Hassett: Iran is not hurting the US economy.

@goatmonty Ooo wee ooo everyone deserves healthcare Oh oh and a decent place to live I don’t care if you’ve got the money anyway No one goes hungry

"You'll never find another girl like me" and what i mean is someone who spends their time making socialist-themed parodies of weezer songs

Oh, you can’t wear band shirts outside because men will quiz you on your top five song or albums of members or side projects or instrument brands or foot pedals or string types or cables or pick gauge? Huh, name me 5 times that’s happened to you right now.

@goatmonty Oh shit, is that why I sneeze when I pee?

evolution made female anatomy the most poorly designed POS ever. yeah lets make it super easy to get UTIs and infections even with proper hygiene. make sure pregnancy is super dangerous and birth incredibly painful. make pelvic floor dysfunction super common. you MORON