LudwigVonBeethoven

Board up your windows...i heard a rumor @Jake_Flores is back in town.

The @dallasobserver_ covers our Texas Mess compilation! @DomComedy @whitecotton @lucasmolandes @MichaelCPriest blogs.dallasobserver.com/mixmaster/2014…

People having been asking me to reveal my true identity. Fine: I'm @Jake_Flores Happy?

Seth cockfield ruins everything.

This toilet just made my shit list.

Caught the open mic at The Velveeta last night. Austin comedy is a lot like Motzart: drunk.

@DougBenson "Decomposers": movies about dead musicians & composers...

So excited to watch Austin comedy! It's like watching miniature golf & heckling the windmill.

Hangin with my pal Steven St. Goth before Doug Mellard's Baby Show(er) tonight. instagr.am/p/IkzyyqEK73/

Mitt Romney's tax rate is a lot like my favorite magazine, they're both "Barely Legal".

Yes. RT: @StevenSTGoth: No. RT @ChuckWatkinsEsq: Is it still a personality disorder if you give all your personalities Twitter handles?

This is happening: The Hive Showcase, Feb 23rd instagr.am/p/G_Y230EK19/

No, I called you an asshole. / RT @Jake_Flores: Did you just call me Coltrane?

For my 10th symphony, I can't decide if I should go with the barking dogs from the Xmas tunes, or the National Norwiegan Fart Orchestra .

Madonna is playing the #superbowl halftime show, meanwhile I can't sell a piano jingle to the "Soup or Bowl" buffet chain.

My symphony #7 is in Meloncholia. If you see one movie about the end of the world & Kirsten Dunst's boobs, see this one. #residuals

I welcomed the New Year by welcoming crack into my life. Now I can't remember what life was like before it. 2012 is the fucking tits! #crack

My resolution is to heckle/stalk you more aggressively, @puddleychef! #pickedspecifically

I prefer vinyl & cd's to digital. It's way easier to do lines off of an album than a download.

@Jake_Flores, My other car bumper is way funnier. RT: I'd rather be sharting. #bumperstickeridea