EM

SATIRE - "Worst case scenario, we should have some sort of timeshare agreement where the Indian Ocean belongs to the Kenyans from Monday at noon to Thursday, and then Uganda takes over from Friday to Monday!" Read more:

@Kyozos_Bae 🤣🤣you even confused Apostle. He literally said every week is a daily Tuesday!

@EEmmyEm 😂😂😂 it’s a democratic dictatorship over here

What’s your favorite day of the week and why is it Tuesday? #ProphetElvisMbonye

@NASA Could we get some sense of scale? Like how far from the moon were the images taken?

Hello, Moon. It’s great to be back. Here’s a taste of what the Artemis II astronauts photographed during their flight around the Moon. Check out more photos from the mission: nasa.gov/artemis-ii-mul…

@LqLana You could visit church and still be the devil's stooge. Bet you didn't know that!

Obama in church. Kamala in church. Biden in church. Wanna guess where Trump is? #DemsUnited

@EdenK256 Peter, you rock!!🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣

If Jesus' Resurrection Were A Hoax

@Stepyluv8 Amagezi amatono oyina manji. ☝🏾English proverb!

Prophet Mbonye has shamelessly said God must apologize to Jesus ,this is the type of preaching that creates entitlement, Humility is the biggest religion anyone can have and have an independent brain outside your religion.

@Kyozos_Bae 🤣Them: "Jesus was the last Prophet & He didn't even say anywhere in the scriptures that God is good!!"

Prophet Elvis Mbonye could say “God is good” and some of you would be up in arms protesting; asking who gave him the authority to determine whether God is good or not. You have filled your hearts with so much hatred that you’re willing to go against scripture just so you don’t agree with what #ProphetElvisMbonye says. How sad.

Right! Cos this is the first time in the history of the universe that the world is paying more for fuel!🙄 Your grossly-unqualified & inexperienced cackling friend couldn't even run a $1BN election campaign without plunging into massive debt. What makes you think she'd have the slightest clue how to navigate complex global systems?

@EEmmyEm Yeah she lost but what good has the guy who won done? The whole world is paying more for fuel now because of him.

She warned us😔

@amerix Was anxiously waiting to hear: "No further questions, your Honor!".

A man marries a woman, 2 years into the marriage, the woman decides to run away. She initiates a divorce. The man ignores her, then he rebuilds himself and then decides to marry another younger woman. Then, later, the first woman returns to create a narrative and seek cheap social media attention. She should accept she lost. Shaming a younger woman simply because she replaced her is bottom-of-the-barrel behaviour. Deranged women make stupid decisions after listening to divorced women in their WhatsApp groups, then, when the man regains his compass, they sneak back seeking petty drama and chaos.

@KamalaHarris Sit down, Cackler Harris. You lost!

A few thoughts ahead of the President’s speech tonight.

From this, we learn that you're quite the idiot, cos if you were half as smart as you think you are, you would've done some basic research and discovered that the image on the left originated in West Africa; and that these are two totally different individuals. Perhaps you're scraping around for engagement so you can earn a few bucks from Elon Musk. What a shame! Speaks volumes about your character!

What do you learn from these photos? 😂

@SkyNews This shouldn't even be making news: Boys — male Olympic events. Girls — female Olympic events. If you can't get this, you simply have a mental illness!

BREAKING: Transgender women athletes banned from female Olympic events news.sky.com/story/transgen…

@LarryMadowo Whatever comes out of this arbitration, African soccer as governed by the cartel that CAF is, will never be the same again!

OFFICIAL: Senegal files appeal at Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) in Switzerland seeking to overturn CAF decision declaring Morocco AFCON final winners by 3-0

@FabrizioRomano If CAS rejects the appeal, Senegal should take the trophy to Camp Geille & tell CAF to go pick it from there if they want, or if they can!

🚨 OFFICIAL: CAS confirms Senegalese Football Federation has appealed the decision to call Morocco as winners of the AFCON 2025, asking to restore Senegal as the original winners. Appeal registered by CAS on 25 March 2026 “to set aside the CAF decision and declares the FSF winners of AFCON”.

@sussiekats Happy Birthday to you!! Blessings galore!

MORNING PRAYER FOR A GREAT DAY. Father, we thank you for love, mercy, and kindness toward us and our loved ones. Thank you for protecting us through the night and giving us the opportunity to see a brand new day. Your alone are worthy of all our worship and praise. My life, My house, my destiny, my atmosphere, my mind, and my work respond to Your voice this day. In the name of Jesus Christ, we command this morning: Let life triumph over darkness, let peace silence confusion. Let favour outrun opposition. Let every gate of the day open for righteousness. Father, as the sun rotates, let everything created in the heaven cooperate with Your purpose for my life. Psalm 19:1-2, the heavens declare the glory of God, and the Firmament shows it his handiwork by day today, uttering speech night unto night showing knowledge. " This day will speak for me, not against me. The heavens will declare my advancement, the Earth will yield her increase, and men will favour me, systems will align. I decree and declare by the authority of Jesus Christ, My steps are ordered of the Lord. I will not collide with evil. I will not walk into traps. Every snare laid before me breaks. Every plan designed overnight to frustrate me expires before dawn. Psalm 91 verse 11. "For he shall give his angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways." I call forth Angelic activity: Angels of preservation, stand guard, Angels of favour, go before me, Angels of War contend for my peace, Angels of breakthrough, open doors before me, By the blood of Jesus, I saturate the atmosphere of this day with favour, By your authority of the word, I silence every voice of divination by the mercy of God. I override every accusation by the spirit of Prophecy. I legislate at Let every Arrow programmed for today be neutralised, Let every evil surveillance be blinded. Let every meeting of wickedness scatter before it begins. Let the name of Jesus echo over this day. This is the day which the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it because He made it with me in mind. May You Lord alone be l8fted up forevermore. In Jesus Christ's precious name, I pray and receive. #Amen.

@DaveEva94714144 ☝🏾The whole point!

@EEmmyEm 2027 hasn't happened yet

"The appeal alleges foul play in the 2027 tournament draw. FUFA claims they suspect Uganda’s group will be rigged to feature Morocco, which’s a straight-up guillotine sentence that will cause the Cranes to deflate and most certainly throw in the towel (in every sense of it!)."

@PiusmyRinto 🤣

@EEmmyEm I stopped reading at, "According to the official statement that’s yet to be released..."

@MohauMosai @Platypuss_10 For safety, the smaller plane would have to wait much longer before taking off!

@Platypuss_10 What would happen if they swapped places with the same distance in between?

A beautiful contrast in aviation — Boeing 747-400 and 737-800 departing from Birmingham, UK!