Dan 🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸

SO in the event suddenly Twitter goes down, here's my Carrd-- It ain't purdy, but it's where I'm at for the moment. I'm also gonna be remaking my Tumblr and will add new social media as I register. Thanks! epasketch.carrd.co

@AviSchiffmann You prey on people who need human compassion and experience and someday the weight of your contributions to this world and all it’s normalized and created will strike you with the most horrid realization

User Interview #3

@aboutKP pretty lame you guys don’t have a gerontology department over here. Maybe you just don’t expect your clients will live that long under your care to warrant it, I guess.

@PentagonPlumbNV Hey, folks-- using AI-generated ads like this makes your company look cheap and unreliable. And considering you're supposed to be experts on plumbing, I wouldn't want my ads to contain whatever the hell is supposed to be going on with it in this image.

Not every clog is an easy fix. 🚽 That’s why Vegas trusts Pentagon Plumbing. Licensed. Experienced. Reliable. #plumbingexperts #vegaslocal #trustedplumber #pentagonplumbing #lasvegasplumber

I made a comic about why you should be masking in 2026 (spoiler: it’s to protect yourself and your community) A thread...

@TheDailyShow As someone who watches your show, this was an incredibly myopic (and painfully unfunny) piece that only further harmed our future. We need someone to bridge that gap, and you didn't even make mention of just HOW "not perfect" Newsom is.

.@WhitneyCummings stops by to deliver a message to Dems for 2028: If you keep holding out for Mr. Right, we're going to end up with Mr. Alt-Right

@Helgemsanchez @beyoncegarden Thank you for this

@beyoncegarden I have no clue who that is... good thing I have immunity dog 🤷🏻

name 3 songs by the artist in your birth month or DIE😭

You guys have to stop posting your art media in general on here

Hi, leave this place. Use the other a c c. O0unt in the o the r pl aace. The fact I have to even type that way because of the alg or ithm is ridiculous. We’ve had years. Get out and USE ot h er places

@SenSchumer You are spineless and inept

While your healthcare costs are going up: Donald Trump and Republicans are preoccupied with ballrooms, private jets, and bailouts for Argentina. Those are the priorities of the Republican party.

@FernneKane @Gabriele_Corno Yes

@Gabriele_Corno Is this AI?

In the middle of the blizzard...this man saw a baby penguin

@Gabriele_Corno Fascinated and annoyed by your hard pivot into AI content.

@GregAbbott_TX your thoughts and prayers are about as effective as an insult as they are when you're saying them instead of actually helping your state

Join me for a moment of silence for NYC. Thoughts & prayers. 🙏

EVERY NEW ELECTION RESULT I SEE AHHHHHH

@elonmusk You’re just grumpy your endorsements actually make people incentivized to vote against your favor

This are simply facts.

@KamalaHarris you know you're not going to win over red voters when you do this shit, right? Just lose more who might be willing to vote blue? I get that there's protocol and professional courtesy, but goddamn, between this and newsom finger-wagging people about kirk's passing...

I am saddened to learn of the passing of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Vice President Cheney was a devoted public servant, from the halls of Congress to many positions of leadership in multiple presidential administrations. His passing marks the loss of a figure who, with a strong sense of dedication, gave so much of his life to the country he loved. Doug and I are keeping Lynne, their daughters Liz and Mary, and the entire Cheney family in our thoughts during this difficult time.

@DewEnjoyer Even if it were, not all fetishes are sexual

Am I crazy for thinking this has gotta be fetish content, it feels too specific

@tjw4788 I hope you feel better

@EPASketch @BrittanyXVenti I know what you mean, Dan. If people could just understand that @BrittanyXVenti popped out of a black vagina... The Left could embrace Brittany and say how brave she is for lampooning the Al Jolson era *normal* of blackface!! Man, that's a world that one could dream of!!

When that EBT hit

@basedbob1913 I am so fucking white, man

@andrewcuomo I don’t even live in New York and you make me sad I can’t vote for Mamdani, this is so weird and lame and pathetic

A Zohran Halloween Special 😱💀 (ft. Sliwa)