ElCatski's Metal Greenhouse

@Moz550 @fesshole I'm still finding them in coat pockets now.

@fesshole Did you just have the one mask? And not one in every pocket like the rest of the country?

During the pandemic, I got Covid because my cat was sleeping on my mask and I didn't want to disturb her.

@McnuggetsCalvin @fesshole Ngl, did not think this would be the line in the sand for Nuggets infinite expertise in literally everything.

@fesshole What on earth is this waffle? Clearly, I'm not down with the kids because I don't understand slang words these days.

I turned into a top because I couldn't be bothered douching. So much work.

@Toddy_Ozzy80 @fesshole Probably the original top

@Apollos_shorts @fesshole Surely the fess in itself is proof that he has read at least one book!

@fesshole You should try reading more books. You seem either extremely boring or an idiot. Books will help.

Every time there are stories suggesting that 'tonight's a great night to see a meteor shower', I always make sure I avoid seeing the celestial display. I've read Day of the Triffids. I am not going blind if we're being invaded.

@fesshole My mates stepdad was called Edmund Blackadder. Was about 40 when the show started. Apparently he absolutely hated both the show and the notoriety of his name.

My name is actually Harry Potter, 38, and the books came out when I was growing up and the movies when I was a young adult. I'm a big fan but I resent it in a way. The fact I have to tell people that I'm not winding them up when I tell them my name and the jokes at school.

@SEANROBBO75 @kevinveegan @anon_opin Especially when it's covered in batter and then bathed in a vat of hot oil.

@kevinveegan @anon_opin He's back! 🤡⬆️ Stop repeating the words 'pleasure your taste buds' in every food-based post, it's meaningless. More importantly fish is a great source of low-fat protein and other nutrients & vitamins - delicious! 🤝🐟

Fish and Chip shops. Stop offering medium and large cod. You need small cod too, as medium is an intermediate between small and large. You can only offer small and large or small, medium and large.

@anon_opin At least we are not naming it after a shit lager, like the last one.

Doctors have robbed the world of a lot of joy by renaming Monkey Pox as "M Pox". Come on! Monkey Pox was such a funny name, and would have taken the sting out of the impending pandemic.

@Angusjb23 @anon_opin In fairness, there there is absolutely one of their all time greatest tracks.

@ElCatski @anon_opin I love httt. And I know a lot

Radiohead studio albums in order from best to worst: 1. Kid A 2. OK Computer 3. The Bends 4. Amnesiac 5. In Rainbows 6. Moon Shaped Poo 7. Pablo Honey 8. King of Limbs 9. Hail to the Thief

@imallexxsbathwa @anon_opin Never darken my doorstep again!

@ElCatski @anon_opin My Radiohead hot takes are really liking Hail to the thief, and thinking The Bends is better than Ok Computer

@AshValeCommuter @anon_opin Me neither. I reckon I just got over my driving like a dick phase in the 90s, when there were less cameras.

@anon_opin Wouldn't know. Never been on a speed awareness course. 😇

People who argue with the Speed Awareness Course Instructor should never be allowed to drive again.

@bobbymowack @anon_opin "He said he got pulled for chucking a lettuce....and that was just the tip of the iceberg" is a much better punchline.

@anon_opin An instructor today told us that when they asked what to do to tailgaters, they said they grab the shopping and throw it out the window. He said he got pulled for chucking a prawn salad......and that was just for starters.

@anon_opin I once tried to buy a slush puppy from a place that was offering "Regular" or "Medium". When asked which was the larger of the two, he looked at me like I was deranged.

@clubchampions23 @anon_opin It really is.

@anon_opin Bet it's next level tho!! Can't stop I'm off to buy one

The main reason anyone buys, or asks for, a virtual reality headset is so that they can watch porn in VR. Take heed, parents of teens who ask for a VR headset this Christmas.

@jgarone @anon_opin No they are not. They are knocking on doors in the UK for hate speech and incitement to racial violence. As they should be.

@anon_opin The police are knocking on doors in the UK for thoughts and memes Really makes you wonder who won.

The true horror of the Nazi regime was not the hateful rhetoric, the atrocities committed or the death toll of the war, it's the fact that ordinary citizens just went along with it even if they weren't themselves evil. Something we should all think about in 2024.

@adyingbreeed @anon_opin Staying off work on 80% wage and watching Tiger King was a bit different to standing idly by while the government imprisoned and murdered millions of people, though, innit.

@anon_opin Weapons. I used to live in an apartment in West Hollywood, LA. My American GF used to never lock up when we went out. When asked why, she replied: "Are you really going to enter a home knowing the person inside is probably armed?"

I have no idea how Americans live in a world where their mail is put in an easy to access box next to the street for anyone passing by to just easily nick.

@LouKellett @whingewine @anon_opin Doing the Lords work.

@ElCatski @whingewine @anon_opin Here you go.

Stop giving food stupid names. It's not tiger bread, it's bread with burnt cheese on it. And it's not a McFlurry, it's a fucking ice cream.

@fesshole Ooo, I've currently got one brewing. I may improvise with one of the kids bathroom steps, see how it goes.

I'm 47. I've recently been using a poo stool, to lift my knees so I'm in a crouching position when sitting on the loo. It's a game changer, it's made shitting fun again, I even save it up to 'get the full benefit'.