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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is a good seed, if planted it starts to grow but it is on the timing of a seed. Growing up in the church, our seed was protected from the fiery darts of the adversary, we feel it start stirring & sprouting, blossoming into beautiful spiritual life. Then it grew to a beautiful tree that produced beautiful, delicious fruit, life & light in our soul. As a youth I had a trial where I couldn't sleep-I prayed-if God would help me sleep I'd read the Book of Mormon each day-I did & I slept. I thirstily drank up the Book of Mormon like the newly found water of a desert oasis. The few times that I didn't make time, sleep was nowhere to be found. I arose, then read until I was surrounded by the Holy Spirit of God. I'd rest the most peaceful, beautiful sleep. I was filled with peace and happiness. One night I knelt down & told God I didn't need to know if the Book of Mormon was true, because I already knew it was true(due to how it changed me and my spirit-my seed was sprouting and producing beautiful fruit). At that moment, I had a spiritual whirlwind of love, it opened my understanding so clearly &powerfully, I knew God was there, He opened my mind and I knew that the Book of Mormon was true! It was joy beyond belief or description. The love, the desires to care for all, the holiness-I knew! I was the happiest teenager there ever was, I felt God's love. The pain of my past (moms mental health struggles & parents divorce-when I was the age of 6 & being passed around to various people-thankfully always took me to church) was healed in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. A true miracle! Yet, later on in my 30's, my cousin convinced me to put down my shield of faith& doubt &believe what she was sharing.I was shocked at my experience:Holiness departed, my countenance was darkened significantly, I felt another relm open where I was repulsed by what once brought such joy. It felt like God abandoned me & I just couldn't get back.I felt a mimic of joy, but it wasn't deep, fulfilling or real connection w/ God. I realized that is the existence of most of those traveling this earthly experience. When I put down my shield of faith, the adversary pierced my soul with fiery darts-real spiritual wounds &they were so deep &significant that my testimony tree felt burnt down. No delicious spiritual connection, no peace, no joy. It was very eye opening. I kept going to church, I could see the light in the believers eyes, I could faintly feel what was God power there but it was tiring &kinda repulsive. But,I still knew my past experiences although remembering them was a wrestle. I remember thinking, those that believe are having an entirely different holy experience than those that doubt. My soul had wounded trees, rocks, weeds, the evil one eating my efforts to plant. So, I repented of my sins of disbelief (it is a sin!) I planted anew daily, prayed for effort& faith, I chose to believe again, to know that I needed to till my soil,to pull out the rocks of disbelief & focus on Jesus Christ, His peace. I found newly posting David Alexander on YouTube and loved it. When I recognized doubt, disbelief or the negative thoughts of the adversary I held up my shield of faith again in my mind & chose to believe. The connections w/God slowly got easier and His love returned. A couple early mornings He rescued me, &strengthen my faith w/His unseen presence.Prayer& praising came joyously, asking God to apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ&cover me. My brother introduced how he shares his testimony on X. I knew a lot of the people on X are in a famine of God's fruit, a mist of darkness. I knew confused feelings& it's so easy to share the truth here. It is hard to get past the defences of the master of misery. I also know what belief in the truth of God can do- He is the vine & we are the branches-we must do all to connect to Him & His work' n protect it w/faith there is joyous hope and promises of His Heavenly fruit ahead of us.
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