FinanciallyCodependently

I didn’t even know we could use “btw” like this😭

I demand to know who roofied my 9th Negroni

Found the opposite of sugar daddy! 🙂

Ranking different groups of white people: A tier - Drug doers B tier - Fitness people, Nerds, Alternatives C tier - Anime fans, Artists, Drug Dealers, Academics D tier - Sports fans, Children, Animal lovers F tier - Swifties, Disney adults, Tech enthusiasts, Influencers, The Elderly

That Chinese peptide you’re all taking raises your resting heart rate by 5-10 bpm? Seems like a pretty major side effect, especially since you’re all already taking adderall

May this kind of love find me

guy who pronounces testicles like a greek name

Un tipo armo una app para dejar de estar todo el dia en internet Cada cierto tiempo te aparece un gato gordo y te tapa toda la pantalla para que no puedas ver nada kjj

Literally just having a delusional golden retriever mindset measurably changes outcomes and physiology. Sleep badly? Convince yourself you're well rested. Stressful day? Convince yourself it's fuel. Failed? Convince yourself it's useful data.

one time I applied for a job at a dispensary and I asked the boss if they had benefits and he said "free weed" and I was like what about health benefits and he was like "free medical weed"

@rjswzr @AspersionCaster Also they should soften/curl into a better position over time. If the doctor trims them right it shouldn’t be a big deal

@rjswzr @AspersionCaster The strings (there for removal and for checking to make sure the iud is still in the right place) were actually thicker and braided in the 70’s, wicking bacteria into the uterus, causing disease & infertility. IUDs still suffering from that stigma. Strings are monofilament now

My dick's so big that it goes into cervixes and gets skewered by the metal part of the IUD is a weird lie guys tell. It's like the "bag of sand" part of 40 Year Old Virgin.

@micheal_ws18 Sleep

What’s a gym hack you wish you knew earlier?

@dude_gang BirdNET or eBird

trying to Shazam a bird call

@Zygocel @theescarletgrey 😭 most women irl just want someone generally healthy…emotionally too. Don’t stress about the minutiae of facial symmetry or whatever. Leave that to the computers

@theescarletgrey “Peak male physique” and it’s prime tom welling. If somebody had this body with an average face you’d all be repulsed

this used to be the peak male physique and we had it so good but now all the dudes decided to have an eating disorder and be dehydrated instead….

middle-aged woman i got stuck behind at the orchid show scanned every orchid with a flower identifier app. every single time it said “orchid”

An army of lesbians is called a Militia Etheridge

@ADangerousBia @yosoymario91 It’s definitely better than nothing for adhd tho…nice try vyvanse bot 😜

@yosoymario91 benefits of caffeinemaxxing for an adhd-ist: absolutely nothing. side effects: death

Benefits of caffeinemaxxing: - life is beautiful - resting heart rate 600bpm - you feel alive - work seems bearable - increased concentration - ability to see sounds - confidence boost

@yosoymario91 My pcp said there’s no upper daily limit and it’s good for the liver when i practically begged her to rein me in

Dr Bronner, visibly drunk: and tell ‘em you can brush your teeth with it