Fake Booze

@CellarRatBryn Nah. Just when we feel like it. Sorry mate. And not sure about this fecking platform either.

@FakeBooze Oooh are you back completely then?!?

Drinks trade to debate assisted dying for brands that should have given up the ghost years ago. ‘It’s cruel to keep them suffering’ said a spokesman for the bill. ‘They deserve to be able to die with a dignity that they never showed throughout their entire miserable existence.’

@TheBuyer11 Just the odd comment when we can be arsed. And not sure how much longer bothering with Muskmedia either. But once in a while.

@FakeBooze Nice to have you back chief!

Use an iphone and the contents of your cellar this Christmas to show your peers that you are MUCH BETTER THAN THEY ARE in every way. fake-booze.com/features/win-a…

@champdenwhite @British_Airways @easyJet Those bastards still owe us £1000 for a cancelled flight. Legally had to pay it. Just stalled for a year until we gave up. BA can do one.

I booked @British_Airways for a change to and from Edinburgh thinking it would be better than @easyJet and it isn't. Huge queues for bag drop. Expensive and worse. Whats going on BA, when will you ever be consistently good again?

This made me laugh.

@GavinQuinney @WSTA_Miles Price rises and pointless bureaucracy are clearly the best way of addressing the UK’s soaring inflation and crippling lack of productivity.

@WSTA_Miles So while we said it was crazy to move from 3 rates of duty on wine to 27, in fact there will be 135 duty rates from 8.5% to 22% for wines labelled with the new 0.1% increments for the UK market? If we include low alc wines of 1.3% - 8.4% on top there'll be over 200?🧐

UK wine trade thrilled to welcome excitingly baffling new duty system. fake-booze.com/news/duty-incr…

@David_McWilliam Kanga… and probably some of Rabbit’s Friends and Relations. You’re right. It’s not much.

So help me out:- Are there any female characters in Winnie The Pooh? They all seem to be boys….well except CR himself…who appears to be wearing a dress. #questioning

R&B star plumbs impressive new depths for celebrity drink with gusset-focust Chardonnay launch. fake-booze.com/news/jeremih-c…

The time has come for the drinks trade to man up and stop dropping crap into the ocean, says eco group Greenpiss. fake-booze.com/features/dumpi…

This wonderful bit of pseudy bollocks picked out by @guyawoodward reminds us of our Crap Tasting Note of the Year awards. Read ‘em and weep both from joy (because you didn’t write them) and abject sorrow (because they are bloody awful) fake-booze.com/news/most-pret…

@LizGabayMW So we know who you'll be shouting for with your popcorn and slushie!

This completely cracked us up... I'm afraid we are in the old school camp of not scoring above 18.5...

Let's get ready to ruuuuummmmble!!! Jancis and Parker in high profile slug-fest to decide who's the world's top critic. fake-booze.com/news/jancis-pa…

Fake Booze is in love with whoever wrote this. Absolute genius.

@WineMan147 @MrArgentina Just another manic Meunier…

@WineMan147 @MrArgentina As rootless as Yellowtail. Wherever you lay Tannat. That’s your home.

@WineMan147 Are these the opening lines from your ‘lonesome traveller road trip’ song?

Magazine caught red handed in ‘not score fixing’ scandal. This sort of flagrant honesty simply cannot continue, says drinks world. fake-booze.com/news/magazine-…

@HenryGJeffreys It looks like they missed off the final ‘e’. Then it makes sense.

Previously Aperol was the undisputed champion of worst drink tagline with 'Together we Joy'. Now there's a new contender, Smirnoff with the utterly baffling looking 'We do We'. Top work ad lads. youtube.com/watch?v=b9VWlN…