Tim Fitz

Pay for YouTubeTV Pay for ESPN+ Pay for Disney+ Still cannot watch Monday Night Football MNF tonight. What a time to be alive.

This Chelsea fan flew all the way from Kenya to Budapest to HATE WATCH Arsenal in the UCL final 😭 Pre-match coverage of the UCL Final live from Budapest starts 10am ET streaming free on CBS Sports Golazo Network, and continues 11am on CBS, or catch it all on @paramountplus 📺

The Chicago Bears were stripped of their two-third round picks (no reason given), they were ranked first in fewest penalties handed out to opponents in the last 4 of 5 seasons and they have the NFL’s most difficult schedule in 2026. What did they do to commish?

Sit back, take an edible, and think about how "Obama needs $1 billion for a ballroom" would get covered in 2011.

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

Dillon Thieneman is going to put his kids through college off those Jordan Love back foot floaters.

Mandatory logo slap ✅ @ChicagoBears

@BarstoolBigCat Its just locker room talk

Maybe it’s just a couple friends interlocking lips? You know. Like when you and your boys get together and have a little smoochy smooch at the bar then 6 years later hang out at a sex hotel. Things of that nature and such.

@elonmusk World’s first trillionsire tells everybody dont worry about losing your job, money wont matter anymore.

Universal HIGH INCOME via checks issued by the Federal government is the best way to deal with unemployment caused by AI. AI/robotics will produce goods & services far in excess of the increase in the money supply, so there will not be inflation.

@tomstakes We all know Brady is better than Dak because we know Brady’s teams won more super bowls? Evn though Dak has better individual stats in every category? Is that your point?

This is like the Holy Grail of why stat comparisons are useless.

Just found out about recency bias, it's gotta be the best and most interesting kind of bias

First teaser for ‘SPACEBALLS: THE NEW ONE’. In theaters on April 23, 2027.

@ScottBarrettDFB Double secret probation nuclear research facility

As someone who interned at this top secret nuclear research facility in college, I must say, I’m a little worried for my own personal safghjtfghdf

Fantasy football really got guys rage quitting mid-season… Now we’re talking about naming the trophy after them like it’s some kind of honor — nah, it’s a lifetime receipt that you folded under pressure.

Before Trump’s war the Strait of Hormuz was open, sanctions were in place, and gas was $2.39. Now Iran controls the Strait, sanctions will be lifted, gas is $4.99, 13 Americans are dead, over 300 injured, and the loss of hundreds of billions in aircraft and U.S. base repairs.

When you sign Kirk Cousins to a massive deal, draft Michael Penix in the first, and end up with Tua Tagovailoa as your QB.

@Rule3O3 But what about Albert’s cousin saying Slick at the last minute and that just happening to be Michael. Without that, the Waingro thing doesn’t continue

This is, in fact, one of the film’s biggest problems. We keep hearing how this is the slickest crew ever - they do this sharp, they do that sharp - but you as the viewer know they negligently hired a psycho moron for a non essential role, botched his termination by having no back up plan, failed to follow up, then proceeded to undertake huge risks while a known hostile party with inside information remained at large. Heat doesn’t get tagged on lists of “1990s films where the plot depends on everyone being bad at their jobs” but really it’s among the worst.

"Red Lobster to bring back endless shrimp that brought it to bankruptcy," per Bloomberg

The perfect crime

The 49ers and Rams will play Thursday, Sept. 10 at 5:35 p.m. PT at the Melbourne Cricket Ground in Australia. Due to the 17-hour time difference, the 49ers and Rams will take the field Friday at 10:35 a.m. (AEST) in Melbourne, with the game airing Thursday evening in the United States.

Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure? Me: I can do the Bowie part, but I don't have the upper range to sing the Freddie part.