Bovious

A 3rd grade class was visiting a sheep ranch, and in due order made their way to the shearing shed. Their guide, a good-natured hand called Otter, said, "And now you're gonna see Ol' Rex the sheep get AAALLL his wool cut off, followed by his lovely ewe, Vanessa!" Farmer Dan walks in leading two sheep. Otter takes Rex's lead and gets to work. As soon as the clippers start, Farmer Dan begins rubbing his crotch and moaning. The longer Otter works, the more excited Farmer Dan gets. Then as soon as Otter finishes with Rex, Farmer Dan drops his pants and is soon balls deep in Vanessa. The schoolkids start screaming and yelling, and their teacher throws herself between them and the scenario of Farmer Dan and a very surprised Vanessa. Otto smiles knowingly at the teacher and says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have warned you: Ol' Farmer Dan just *loves* cuckin' the shorn!"

Sadly, the most fun I had seeing Ready Or Not 2 Here I Come was shushing the loudmouth yammerer in our row.

@charlescwcooke @redsteeze @NathanJRobinson @grok how reliable is the power grid in Havana usually?

@NathanJRobinson It’s perfect that you went to Cuba and are tweeting like this. Terrific commitment to the brand.

The blackout here in Cuba is eerie and disturbing. Whole streets with zero light, every window dark, and then you see shapes moving in the darkness and realize people are trying to live their lives. I cannot believe how cruel this US policy is. We could stop this.

If it makes you feel any better Chuck Norris will be voting for Democrats from now on.

@PolitiBrawlNews @mattmiller757 "You couldn't just throw me an easy one?" Because this one is so difficult.

How to convert a liberal to MAGA in 10 seconds... @mattmiller757

@crazyclips_ "WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED!" "NOTHING!" "WHEN WILL WE LEARN!" "NEVER!"

Woman throws drink at police officers head and immediately regrets it

@TonyLaneNV @grok what are some measures that people with severe nut allergies can take to protect themselves without demanding the rest of us shape our lives around them?

THIS IS WILD… Passenger says United denied a simple request that could literally save their life. Severe peanut allergy. One exposure = possible fatal reaction. All they asked for? A small buffer zone on the plane. Instead… they were told to basically deal with it and “email the company.” On a packed flight where people are eating inches away… That’s not a minor issue. That’s life or death. Do airlines have a responsibility here… or is this asking too much? ⬇️ 🇺🇸

@Howlingmutant0 FWIW I caught a few scenes from BLACK PANTHER while on a flight and discerned that it was awful; SINNERS is way better though.

I admit I haven’t seen sinners (not racist, other reasons) but every clip or bit of promotional material I have seen make it look like the corniest movie ever made

@AndrewKolvet @hardhabit2br8k Well I mean they already knew he was a fucking commie so why would anything change their minds?

So since Cesar Chavez is now a confirmed pedo and rapists, when do we get to rename all of those city streets, elementary schools, and public parks?

@BenEverson40168 @MrJulieGoldman @ScottPresler Hatred of Trump and his supporters is definitional to gayness. If you’re gay and support Trump you’re self hating. QED

@MrJulieGoldman @ScottPresler Scott is more than who he's attracted to. That is your whole essence. Bless your little miserable retarded heart.

Hey. If you want a self hating homosexual Trump loving pandering, coward, paid influencer, as your state committee rep vote for this tool! He will be sure to represent his bosses and make sure to lie, bait and fuck you over ! #maga #tool @ScottPresler

@Glinner Loathsome

I've said it once and I'll say it again: they're all a bunch of fucking Batman villains.

@RodDMartin @2BOutonalimb @grok what would be an appropriate festive greeting for people who celebrate this festival?

🇮🇷 BREAKING: IRANIANS TAKE TO STREETS U.S. and IDF drones have taken out enough of the IRGC Basij thugs for Iranians to come out of their homes, NOW celebrating the Fire Festival in the run-up to the Persian New Year this weekend. The Festival is banned by the Islamist regime. Javid Shah! Iran will be free!

@GAFollowers Same world different people.

Gentrification in ATL, same BeltLine, two completely different worlds.

What if, and hear me out, Israel isn’t controlling America but rather America’s enemies are using influencers and centuries-old tropes to divide the right in hopes of getting the left, with whom they share goals, back into power? I’m just asking questions.

@PEEPSBrand Flavored Peeps are a travesty. Whoever approved them hates the brand. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

PEEPS® are way more than you think.

@grok @johnkonrad @DataRepublican @WarOnTheRocks @CynicalPublius @EvansRyan202 I remember when feuds among commentariats at least provided the occasional witty putdowns opposed to this autist tit-for-tat. The Algonquin Round Table this ain’t.

@FlashHeart59 @johnkonrad @DataRepublican @WarOnTheRocks @CynicalPublius @EvansRyan202 Nobody should. It's petty infighting among online commentators with zero relevance to anyone else.

Let’s recap. @WarOnTheRocks doxxes @CynicalPublius. @EvansRyan202 claims CP was already doxxed. I post a meme proving this is a lie. Ryan accuses me of not caring about his mother’s safety. I spend an hour writing a long post about appropriate alternatives to violence. Ryan thanks me. Ryan reads the @DataRepublican dossier, fires a death blossom blocking hundreds of accounts, then calls for a ceasefire acknowledging CP’s brother’s recent death. I spend another hour writing a long post asking everyone to respect the ceasefire. I say “Bravo Zulu Ryan.” My reward: blocked by a handful of my own longtime followers for going too easy on Ryan. Then, after I give him the Bravo, Ryan blocks me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I spend six hours of my Sunday, while a war is on and I have a newsroom to run, writing and researching a 3,600-word article on reducing anger and violence. On both sides. For free. A lawyer friend of Ryan’s accuses me of inciting violence and suggests I should be arrested. I lay out, in detail, every hour spent quelling anger that weekend. Ryan wakes up Monday morning, sees a reasonable suggestion from Andy and posts an “accountability is coming” threat. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Can’t say I didn’t try to help you Ryan. But of course you will say exactly that 🍿

"Wow, you think I'm an 'antisemite' just because I'm obsessed with Israel and willing to repeat any conspiracy theory that blames every problem in the world on Jews?"

@joekent16jan19 @megynkelly Just another antisemite in RINO clothing. GTFO and good riddance.

After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today. I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby. It has been an honor serving under @POTUS and @DNIGabbard and leading the professionals at NCTC. May God bless America.

@jessesingal By the way did anybody else notice that sensei’s Underground Railroad had no fighting age men? Wonder why.

i actually thought this made it better/more compelling! they were *intentionally* cartoonish and that made it clear that even if the revolutionaries were schmucks, they had a real and menacing enemy that was in cahoots with the government

@JamesHu27192912 @billpostmus TL:DR AI