Dr. Vinnie Boombatz

@landofthe80s 🍇

What was your favorite flavor of Big League Chew?

@theyfabsexual Student loans

Where do college students get all that money to do crazy spring break trips

@WilliamShatner WTF OMG STFU 🤦‍♂️

If they built highways with magnetic strips in the concrete that allowed you to charge on the go; that would be a game changer. Aren’t the new taxis able to charge magnetically‽

@420prettygirls I’m not 12 so I don’t “smoke weed” but I regularly consume cannabis before bed, yes.

Who else smokes weed before going to bed? 😴🌿

@donnelly_b Jealousy is real! The haters WISH they lived here.

Truthfully, I didn't think so many people would be this offended by my unwavering hometown love.

@ysljennii 😂

three different generations of talent

@james_xond My MySpace page song still plays in my head.

Does anyone who grew up before social media still remember their parents’ landline number??

@Iamivy05 Ivy is a parrot 🦜

I WATCHED MY COWORKER CRY IN HIS CAR FOR 20 MINUTES, THEN WALKED BACK IN SMILING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. PEOPLE REALLY BE FIGHTING SILENT BATTLES EVERY DAY

@HerbsandDirt Don’t buckle up. Seatbelts kill people.

Just paid $85 to fill up a Toyota Camry. Not a truck. Not an SUV. A freaking CAMRY. Buckle up.

@izzykento That’s fucking retarded. 😂

Do y’all ever get a hotel room by where u live just to chill ?? My family does when they wanna swim or just need a change of scenery from the house.

@DaRealAmberRose Eww

I love you, say it back 😍💋

@MbarkCherguia Their parents were their parents. Not their friends.

Why is that?

@james_xond Ask them to kindly leave. 🤷‍♂️

How do you politely tell your visitor that it’s time to go home??

@420prettygirls Legalities never mattered to me.

Is cannabis legal where you are? 🌿

@snnowwww Healthy people.

Who tf wakes up and thinks Mhmmm weed??

@theteapartyband In grade school. It’s basic political history.

When did you first get introduced to The Tea Party? Was it Much? Was it a friend? We'd love to know...

@thehealthb0t @iluminatibot Don’t worry. It’s measles now.

They cannot be allowed to get away with what they did. to us. The COVID insanity must never happen again.

@Cloud1a7 He certainly looks like someone who knows what dead hippo ass smells like.

He’s creative. 😂

@Simon_Ingari Who writes these?? 😆 So cheesy!

Manager: I have you scheduled for a meeting at 7 PM tomorrow. Gen Z: Is my attendance mandatory? Manager: Yes, we’re working with a client in another time zone. Gen Z: Okay, I’m happy to shift my hours to accommodate. Manager: Excuse me, no—you still start at 8 AM. Gen Z: If I’m working in the evening, then I’ll start later in the day. Manager: Okay, don’t watch the clock at this company. We work when we need to work. Gen Z: I’m contracted and paid for 40 hours a week, so that is what I work. Manager: That’s a career-limiting move. Tomorrow is a busy day; I’ll need you to start right promptly at 8:00 AM. Gen Z: Alright then, I will take the lieu time later this week. Manager: Again, that’s not how we operate at this company. You work hard when you need to, and you don’t watch the clock. Gen Z: Again, I work for the hours I’m paid for, and since overtime is not an option, I’ll go ahead and adjust my hours this week to accommodate the shift in the schedule. Manager: You’re not quite understanding the company culture we have here—we work all the time. Gen Z: And you’re not understanding that just because that is the way you do things does not mean that is how I’m required to do things as well. Manager: (Silence)

Fasting makes you realise that eating 3 meals a day is a scam