College Soccer Spoof (Parody)

@Michael90293665 @ImYouthSoccer As a fan of Florida State, you can certainly appreciate poaching players (allegedly)

@ImYouthSoccer As a fan of Florida State, I would need to understand how a spring season would affect players getting poached to NWSL

Would you like to see Women's College Soccer move from the current fall season to a split fall and spring season like the Men are moving to.

@fulhamfc318 @ImCollegeSoccer So do they 😂

@ImCollegeSoccer True but 99% is a very bold claim. I love arbitrary statistics.

DM: Lets call it what it is. The number one reason for players to transfer is……Playing time! You weren’t good enough, so we didn’t play you. Playing time. Whether the player thinks they should have played or not or the coach was unfair and played favorites, 99% of you are transferring due to playing time! -NCAA D1 Head Coach #CSTruth Playing time is probably the number one sign that will tell you, you weren’t good enough.

@ImCollegeSoccer A psychopath runs this account for sure!

DM: This is a fun one. Kid transferred D1 this spring. Announced his transfer on Instagram 16 weeks ago. No spring roster update. In the portal already 😅🤣 -NAIA HC #CSTruth The grass isn’t always greener on the other side

@CoreyClayton @IHateSoccerPod

@IHateSoccerPod MLS clubs are independently owned LLCs. MLS doesn’t “own” them — as the 30 owners in MLS are the league’s controlling Board of Governors.

I figured it out. You know how MLS owns the “franchises.” The goal of the ECNL is to eventually own each of the ECNL clubs. Perhaps that’s why their director is on the board of the company that owns Surf and Rush? Coming to a club near you.

This is the way! Coach Stein also has a very low CCI from what we hear. No brow beating, just development!

@teleologyman @ImCollegeSoccer Not sure what you mean?

@ImCollegeSoccer The way this account switches between Machiavellianism and Christianity is astounding, lol

College Coaches, if you want to survive in the New Era/New Normal of College Soccer: 1. You have to be willing to cut players who can’t play. Do you want to feed their family or your family? 2. Raise NIL funds or get left behind. 3 Embrace the transfer portal or get left behind. 4. Don’t worry about tampering. That’s out the window too. 5. Hire Assistant Coaches that can evaluate talent. No more favors to a friend to put somone on staff. 6. Focus on Winning NOW, not long-term development. Your AD doesn’t care or give you the time to do it before they let you go. They want results now. 7. Negative recruiting is at an All-time high. Your competition that’s consistently beating you is doing it and they don’t care. They are getting recruits however they can get them and still shaking your hand at recruiting events. 😉 8. Eliminate staff who can’t coach, lazy, or don’t have your same vision. You don’t have time to babysit. 9. Recruiting is your lifeline. You need to grind it out and be at every college recruiting event. The new era/new normal is not for the kindhearted. College athletics is shown you it is a Business more so now than ever before. Adapt to the new era or get out and start a podcast. Good luck everyone! Here’s to the New Year 🥂🍻 #CSTruth

@SoccerMomONT @ImCollegeSoccer Open secret

@ImCollegeSoccer Or someone who pays more !

Recruits: This will happen unfortunately to most of you. A college coach will talk to you for months making you feel wanted but then end up NOT giving you an offer or ghosting you. It's not because they don’t know you exist or forgot about you, they simply found someone better. It’s going to suck when it happens but get back up and get after it! #CSTruth

@BMichaels22 @Don_K_Williams MAGA Donnie 👍🏻

@Don_K_Williams Hi Don, that has zero to do with inflation. You know that. Do better.

$40 for 2 corn dogs & 2 lemonades at the county fair But don’t worry Inflation is under control 🤦🏻‍♂️

Let Lean Be I am dumbfounded how often coaches/physical trainers want to beef up the intelligent and skillful slender footballer. Why? His or her distinguishing quality will never be winning the bruising battles. #TOVO

Dear social media influencer: If you are going to start a Twitter account, at least be creative and generate your own content. Don’t just copy and paste other people’s posts verbatim and claim it as your own so you increase your followers. That is lazy. Provide something to the table. That’s like going to a potluck without bringing anything, stealing Nana’s mashed potatoes and telling everyone you brought it by crossing off her name from the lid and writing in yours instead. Sorry you are going to have to be blocked for your party foul.

We're almost at our goal. Please help us crush it! Thanks so much.

@Toohey_sp Get help

Rick is the goat. If he never leaves UK he most likely has 5+ national titles.

@TexasCoachMike Have you heard of TOCA. They would benefit IMHO

My favorite part of this play from our u9s is the off the ball movement of # 10, and then usage of the dribble to create the pass.

Pleased as punch to have announced at this morning’s match that our Wayne is signing for Astro Pitch FC😍 The look on the other parents faces was priceless. I can’t wait to make new BFF’s and have already unfriended some of the parents of our old team on Facebook🥰

Coach is no longer taking money from parents who run their kids accounts and we’re proud that he took that stance! @ImCollegeSoccer

@JoshHorneBC Weak sauce

Transfer portal ruining the college game! 1,671 men’s soccer players and 46 from today are entered. Madness! Commit to your program, stay loyal and compete to win, develop yourself and make the program better. Too easy to find another option now. Doesn’t teach good lessons imo!

We’re getting soft

Receipts!

@7Crabbe75 Cmon! You’re either admitting to failing these girls by saying that quality is the same, or you’re a hater 🫶

Hot take!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥