Violet

Breakfast sandwich with whiskey call me Jimmy beam

@Owl_Brained20 @EclipseNine @InkMasterbator You’re paying good money? To who? Probably not the server you’re about to flag down and then not tip later. Not saying you shouldn’t wave them down. Just saying that no you are not in fact paying them good money.

@EclipseNine @InkMasterbator @Fykshyn If I'm in a restraunt and it has been 10 minutes since I've been seated then yes, I will wave someone the fuck down because why wouldn't I? I'm paying good money.

Olive Garden is the last place you'd expect to be transphobic considering they're an Applebee's pretending to be authentic Italian cuisine.

@InkMasterbator If she had 3 tables it wasn’t slow for her. Also at my OG we aren’t allowed to take more than 3 tables. Which really makes me lean more towards the hosts being stupid.

@Fykshyn Possibly, but it was very slow and we waved her down several times and still got ignored.

@InkMasterbator What you’re thinking is transphobia is likely just stupidity. Not even saying OG isn’t transphobic. I’ve experienced transphobia working there. However what you’re missing here is that OG is such a fucking disaster.

@InkMasterbator As a trans woman who works at an Olive Garden it’s very likely there’s a non-transphobic explanation. Sometimes the hosts will seat a server out of section and not tell the server. Sometimes they will seat a server that just left, or isn’t there yet.

Bugs outside operate like Chekhov’s gun. That weird looking bug will be landing on you in the 3rd act when you let your guard down.

*releases 4 million spiders into your house* (they’re an endangered species so you have to leave them be)

It was not, in fact, a “slay”. It was serving many things, and yet cunt was not one of them.

Guy who invented a device that uses a magnetized needle to indicate where north is: Ah yes I shall call this new invention the “cum piss”

Like if you have cake you’ve made it as far as I’m concerned. Your basically already eating that shit.

The phrase have your cake and eat it too is so dumb like if you got to the having cake stage, is it really that hard to believe, is it really that far of a jump, to then eat the cake. In fact I can’t recall even a single time I had cake and was not able to then eat it.

Outside sucks. You can just be chilling and a large bug will just decide it’s only mission in life is to crawl on you and that fucker will stop at nothing.

Pup play but I’m an aggressive dog who bit a child so you call Cesar Millan but I bite him too so you have to euthanize me but it doesn’t work because I’m too angry to die so you have to resort to paying homeless people to let me bite them to satiate my rage.

Hitting on a necrophiliac girl: hey beautiful, watch this *dies*

New million dollar idea. A sensory deprivation tank but instead of deprivation it’s a sensory overstimulation tank and it’s filled with acid strobe lights and me making all sorts of loud noises

@hottrashbabe What I think is that I just gooned to this!!! Would love to know what others think!!!!!

just gooned to this!!!! let me know what you guys think!!!!!!

@boynamednick @chantgod Okay but if a cute trans gal called me unicorn barf I’d read it as a compliment and be flattered

@chantgod I got called unicorn barf from a guy on Grindr while I was in Spain

What’s craziest thing a man has ever said to you while trying to flirt?

@Charalanahzard Sometimes I think people who lack self awareness just assume everyone shares their kinks no matter how incredibly rare those kinks are.

im not gonna out him but a certain (popular) content creator drunkenly texted me in full baby speak asking if i could feed him mommy milkers and change his diaper i did not respond

Using gasoline as perfume to attract autistic bitches

Got so many hoes I had to invest in a weekly planner

Enemies to lovers is boring and overplayed. I want some lovers to enemies story arcs.