THE HEISMAN

the PEAK male experience is landing in a new city, walking the streets with no plan and eating dinner alone somewhere you’ve never been. nothing better. it’s spiritual.

Just an all time Marge banger. Gets me everytime

Collinsworth- “I thought a raccoon kept getting into my trash so I set up a trap. Turns out it was actually my neighbors cat. So I brought him inside and fed him. It’s my cat now. I own the cat.” Tirico- “The Patriots won the toss and will defer until the second second half”

think about this exchange all the time

Olympic skiers are like “I have 2% body fat. I train 23 hours a day. I have had 87 surgeries” and Olympic snowboarders are like “I have smoked this many drugs today” and they hold up their hand which is in a mitten.

Eagles might be the coolest animals on the planet. Look at this absolute badass. Strutting up like he's about to ask you for your papers 🧊🧊🧊

How the memory of being healthy looks when you have a cold:

@amazon why the FUCK do I pay for prime just to have yall delay the shipment and it was like regular shipping? This is why I only get prime for like 2 purchases cause yall fuck everything up and I just end up purchasing in person somewhere.

the only day of the year you can retweet this 🎄

@CityofSarasota absolutely bullshit yall are letting people be THIS LOUD with cars in a parade with fucking kids around Guy in a white Porsche should be arrested for being a rich pompous asshole Fuck this

Can’t wait to return to this after 4 days of incredible food and time with family

The Departed (2006)

League of their Own #Halloween costume

Halloween is the worst holiday of the year.

At the Chili’s bar at O’Hare. Guy sitting next to me isn’t flying anywhere. Lives in the area. Stopped here for a drink. This is, without a doubt, the most insane thing I have ever witnessed.

Phil finding out Vito is gay

“So you stumbled upon dead Mexicans?” “Mhmm.” “And figured out where the drug money is.” “Yep.” “And how much was it?” “A little over $2million.” “And what have you invested that in? Stocks? Bonds? Real estate?” “Well currently it’s in an air duct at a motel.”

College kids banging Fleetwood Mac gives me hope