Chortles McFartinhertz III ⚽🏀⚾🏈🏒

@49ersSportsTalk @spotrac Thanks Brandon!

The San Francisco #49ers currently have a league-high $67M of cap space, per @spotrac

@United24media I bet that guy was 1000% monster in his day.

⚡️ BREAKING: Former Russian chemical defense chief commits suicide in Moscow. Stanislav Petrov, the 87-year-old retired general-colonel who led both Soviet and Russian radiological, chemical, and biological defense units, was found dead on Monday with a self-inflicted gunshot wound at his residence.

@ctrent It's ok to just STFU

In addition to its stench, Wrigley Field must have the worst sight lines in baseball, because the crowd seems to think every ball the home team hits in the air is going to be a home run

@Brett_A_Taylor I love Nico, but Jesus Christ it was a neck strain. I wake up with this shit every morning and do my job. C'mon now.

I keep thinking about how this guy had a jacked up neck and came back and immediately did this. Talk about a play that tests the neck!

@Cubskickass100 What's the point of a farm system?

Do people still want to trade him?

@Tonysmarkettips PDub is my fav all-time, son. Such a good dude, too. One of a kind, truly.

As a Niner fan, I miss this guy. I don't think I'll ever see another LB as good as him for the rest of my life.

@Bavaro_Arg Take your lumps, kid, you're almost there.

Este tipo tiene que bancarse que Neuer quiere jugar hasta los cien años en vez de retirarse cuando se debe y cuando juega tiene de dupla central a ITŌ Y MINJAE. Pobre pibe. Perdonalos, Jonas.

@Cubskickass100 I've been optimistic all Winter, I just wished they didn't shit the bed so early when my friend and I were in attendance at Wrigley for the first time in his life, coming in from Montana. I blame myself, though.

Is everyone optimistic about the Cubs now?

@born_a_JAY @ChiTownSports This is what the phrase literally was invented towards!

@ChiTownSports Fair weather fan😂😂

I had tickets for today's #Cubs game But I am not a fan of sitting out there in 45 degree temperatures so I decided not to go today

@ChiTownSports C'mon Steve. Just.... c'mon, man.

@KovaRob6 @rshereme Way to see the point. Keep on keeping on Neanderthal

@rshereme You don’t dare speak to any Russians because they will knock you out, because you’re a pussy who won’t go the front lines.

This is why. When some russian in a hotel asks me why I do not want to talk to him, when some European asks me why I am not "tolerant" – the answer is in this photo. There are thousands of such kids in Ukraine whose parents were killed simply because russians followed their crazy tsar instead of stopping him. The russian army is 2.4 million. Most of them have been to Ukraine. The police is about 1 million. There are also smaller forces – FSB (200 thousand), National Guard (340 thousand) and others. So we are already at more than four million people involved. And then count those who work as subcontractors for the army. Those who work in weapons factories. Count the government and everyone working for it. You get every 10th adult russian working for the war. 30% of russia's budget is spent on it. This is not "Putin's war," this is "every russian's war." So when I meet a russian man in some hotel, I know there is a 10% chance he is directly involved. And the remaining 90% support it – by action or inaction. So how should I treat them? If he wants a conversation, he should start by asking for forgiveness and condemning their army and their regime. In all other cases, I won't even talk to such a person.

@BezBeyondThePen Aim low ChiSox

The Cubs won 14 of their last 17. The Sox are not even the hottest team in the city.

@BestMovieMom What a whack job that guy is

Top Gun: Maverick (2022) grossed 1.495 billion dollars worldwide, the highest opening weekend of Tom Cruise’s career at age 59. Cruise refused Paramount’s streaming release during COVID and held the film for 2 years until theaters reopened fully.

@WAD1980 Man, STFU and let him work. Do you really want us sniffing around your timeline pointing dumb shit out? I don't even want to click on your profile, much less give 2 shits about you. Go mow the lawn or something, dude.

Tony Farmer needs a real job. I would love to see the total amount tweets he has sent out over the last 3 weeks. He is obsessed with going viral on Twitter. Begging people to share his videos. 😂

@ryancduff What a dumb bitch

Alternate headline— Local woman sets boundary, man honors it. Woman left confused.

@KeatonianB8787 @TheConnorPils This. He'll be a run of the mill journeyman for some shit org like the A's or Angels and everyone will love to hate him. It'll be lovely to forget his name like so many others that have come and gone like him.

@TheConnorPils As a Cubs fan, and mind you Contreras was never this bad, but I get the blind devotion. When Rushing leaves in a few years, every single one will turn on him.

Dodgers fans: “oMg WhY dOeS eVerYoNe hAtE DaLtoN rUsHinG?!!!” Maybe it was the time he called Amaya a fat f*ck. Or the time he said “f*ck em” about an injured Jung Hoo Lee? Or maybe when he tried to take out Adames at 2nd base? Or idk maybe when he called the Rockies cheaters. Other than that tho, you’re right I can’t think of any possible reason anyone would hate him

@StoneColdShohei @TheConnorPils What does that have to do with your catcher being a complete ass clown of a shit ass? It's ok to admit when your players are complete fucktards, dude. It's called maturing as a sports fan and realizing they're all million dollar babies, and some are worse than others.

@TheConnorPils For a white boy who rocks a man bun and a nose ring, you sound like quite the bitch lol he’d probably call you a fat fuck too

@Cubskickass100 I feel like....

How is everybody feeling about the Cubs beating the D-backs?

@FCBinsideEN These dudes don't grow on trees. He has proved himself under multiple coaching schemes. Pay him. Don't overthink this for a few millions dollars. It's not worth the depth chart hit. No need to point the shotgun at our own feet.

Stalemate in the Konrad Laimer negotiations... Can you see him leaving Bayern this summer? 🤔

@CalltoActivism You forget how to stupid America is, bruh.

BREAKING: A DC pollster just texted me “it’s over” after Donald Trump’s speech today where he called “affordability” a “line of bullshit.” There is not one Republican lawmaker who is up in 2028 that didn’t just shit their pants. He just gave Democrats the perfect ad.