Helma Watts

Nicked from another page. Nice to know the MOD has a sense of humour… Never Mess with Officialdom! Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long career. He received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, based upon his years of service, that he would receive in addition to his pension. The letter read: "Dear Lt. Colonel Maclaren, We write to confirm that you retired from the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards on 1st March 2001 at the rank of Lt Colonel, having been commissioned into the British Army at Edinburgh Castle as a 2nd Lieutenant on 1st February 1366. Accordingly your lump sum payment, based on years served, has been calculated as £68,500. You will receive a cheque for this amount in due course. Yours sincerely Army Paymaster” Lt Colonel Maclaren replied; “Dear Paymaster, Thank you for your recent letter confirming that I served as an officer in the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards between 1st February 1366 and 1st March 2001 – a total period of 635 years and 1 month. I note however that you have calculated my lump sum to be £68,500, which seems to be considerably less than it should be bearing in mind my length of service since I received my commission from King Edward III. By my calculation, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, my lump sum should actually be £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p. I look forward to receiving a cheque for this amount in due course. Yours sincerely, Robert Maclaren (Lt Col Retd)” A month passed by and a stout manilla envelope from the Ministry of Defence arrived, it read: “Dear Lt Colonel Maclaren, We have reviewed the circumstances of your case as outlined in your recent letter to us dated 8th March inst. We do indeed confirm that you were commissioned into the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards by King Edward III at Edinburgh Castle on 1st February 1366, and that you served continuously for the following 635 years and 1 month. We have re-calculated your pension and have pleasure in confirming that the lump sum payment due to you is indeed £6, 427, 586, 619. 47p. However, we also note that according to our records you are the only surviving officer who had command responsibility during the following campaigns and battles; The Wars of the Roses 1455 -1485 The Civil War 1642 -1651 The Napoleonic War 1803 – 1815 The Crimean War (1853 – 1856) The Boer War (1899 -1902) World War One (1914-1918). We would therefore wish to know what happened to the following, which do not appear to have been returned to Quartermaster's Stores by you on completion of operations: 9765 Cannons 26,785 Swords 12,889 Pikes 127,345 Rifles (with bayonets) 28,987 horses (fully kitted) Plus three complete marching bands with instruments and banners. We have calculated the total cost of these items, allowing for interest payments and currency fluctuations, and they amount to £6,427,518.119.47p. We have therefore subtracted this sum from your lump sum, leaving a residual amount of £68,500, for which you will receive a cheque in due course. Yours sincerely . . . .” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

ICE officers stopped by our farm yesterday. “We need to inspect your property for illegal aliens,” one of them said. I replied, “Alright, but whatever you do, don’t go into that field over there.” The officer in charge exploded. “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government behind me!” he barked, reaching into his back pocket. He yanked out a badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge? This badge means I can go wherever I want on ANY land. No questions asked, no answers given. Am I clear? Do you understand?” I nodded politely and said, “Be my guest.” Then I went back to my chores. About ten minutes later, I heard screaming. I looked up and saw six ICE agents running for their lives, being chased by my big, mean, old bull. And with every step, that bull was closing in fast. It looked like they were about to get gored for sure. So I dropped my tools, ran over to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs: “YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING BADGE!”

Just cannot believe how Stormzy is now. And I get to see him on Sunday in his new home!!!

Something to lighten up the timeline 😂😂😂😂😂 I genuinely believe the UK will look like this in the next 10 years😭

Police officer gets punched by this guy, he proceeds to walk calmly toward his police vehicle, opens the door and this happens..