JG

Links to Kvara and Alvarez recently, my two dream forward signings. Highly doubt we get both, even one, but I do think the club knows where best to invest. Think White will go and be replaced too which is sad but probably neccesary

The joke here was that a no-name 16yo took the 2nd greatest EPL player out of the league. Satire has always been a staple of FT but for some reason, everyone has decided that Arsenal fans can't do it.

🚨JUST IN: Pep Guardiola reveals what Mikel Arteta did after Arsenal’s Carabao Cup defeat, calls it ‘incredible’ Pep Guardiola got the better of Mikel Arteta as Manchester City beat Arsenal in the Carabao Cup final. After losing 2-0 to Manchester City, Arsenal had to walk up the Wembley stairs first to collect their Carabao Cup runners-up medals. Once they came down, Pep Guardiola led his side up the stairs to collect their medals and, of course, the Carabao Cup. Manchester City celebrated winning the cup for the fifth time in the last 10 years on the balcony and then came down to do the same on the pitch. Mikel Arteta, his coaching staff, and the Arsenal players could’ve just gone back in as soon as they got their medals, but they stayed until City lifted the cup and came down. The Manchester City boss noticed that, and he hailed and thanked Arteta for the gesture. He told CBS Sports: “It’s against which team we won. This is the strongest one in Europe right now. Look at the Champions League and Premier League. To beat them in many aspects, it looks so difficult. “They have proven it for many years, especially this season. Of course, Carabao Cup, five in 10 years, we’re happy, but especially against them (Arsenal). “I have a huge respect. I want to say thank you because they waited, all the team, until we were down. That was an incredible gesture on the part of Mikel and their people.” Via [@afcnewsroom]

The team and coach stood out there when they didn’t have to, to applaud a deserved winner on the day… Yet look how it’s being framed.

I don’t want any crying about over celebrating from rival fans if we win the league in May. We are the monster you’ve willingly created

I have just awoken from an absolutely crazy nightmare. It starts, I am having dinner with Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta, at Salt Bae’s restaurant in London. We are exchanging tactical ideas. But halfway through this dinner, I try to check my phone, because I had no update from my friend Ange Postecoglou, who was also meant to attend this dinner. I spend minutes looking for it, not even focusing on the accent. Mikel says to me, “No, no… we speak about de phone later, eh? Now we are here, we enjoy de dinner… fully. Dis is de moment, yeah? You have to be present.” I obey, as I do not want to kill the vibe. Dinner goes on, we share some Sangria wine, eat steak. And of course, share tactical ideas. The dinner comes to an end, and I offer to pay. “No, no, no… you are our guest, my friend. I will not let you pay, eh. IMPOSSIBLE! Today, we take care of you, this is how we do, yeah?”, says Pep Guardiola. But Arteta, he has his own idea “No, Josep… let him, eh. It is good for him. He will learn a lot from dis… you understand? Sometimes, you have to experience dese things, yeah?” I oblige. I pay the bill for £1568.34, as it was all of our families enjoying the meal. But I still do not have my phone, and I complain to the restaurant staff. They told me it is my problem. Mikel Arteta offers to drive me to the police station, so I get into his Mercedes Benz GLE. I say my goodbyes to Pep Guardiola and his family, and go with Mikel. He tells me “I need to get something at my place first, eh. Then we go. Everything step by step, yeah?”, with a bit of a laugh. I am the passenger, so I can do nothing but agree. We get to his house, he tells me “You can come with me, eh… while we wait. We are like family here, you understand? Always together, yeah?” I feel flattered. He tells me I can look around, make myself at home, and tells me to check his office. Pitch black. I go to turn on the light. The door locks. A lightbulb shines. And a masked figure appears. The masked figure takes out his mask. It is Ange Postecoglou. He says to me “You left your phone, mate”. And gives it back to me. I ask him, “where were you, Ange? You missed our dinner! Why couldn’t you come?” Out of nowhere, Mikel Arteta comes out. “No, no. Don’t worry about him, eh. We focus on us.” “I cannot believe this, eh! I bring Ange, okay, yes, this is on me, I accept BUT YOU… you do nothing?! He is in your pocket! IN YOUR POCKET! And you are just there… like this doing NOTHING?! Where is the awareness? Where is the aggression?! You have to compete, even at the dinner table, eh! This is the standard! I cannot come here, organise everything, trust the process… and then you allow a pickpocket in front of me?! No, this is too much! You have to be sharper! You have to suffer! You have to feel it! Because this… this is not acceptable at this level, yeah?!” He throws my phone on the floor out of anger. “You have to leave my house. Now. No more discussion. This is the decision. Because if we accept this… we accept everything. And I will not allow that, yeah?” I leave. I am disgusted with myself. He has made me feel embarrassed. I could not even catch up with Ange, but why would Ange agree to this? I felt betrayed. And then I woke up.

The scariest part about Claude and Chat is it sounds like it knows what it’s talking about unless you actually know what its supposed to be talking about..

Arsenal’s new quadruple probabilities: 👉 Premier League: 90% 👉 Champions League: 29% 👉 FA Cup: 38% 👉 Spurs relegation: 37% [🔮 via @PolymarketSport]

We got Sky Sports and Opta lying against us for clicks. Arsenals fans are not unbearable. Just wait and see

More fake quotes to spread the Arsenal Derangement Syndrome pandemic. The only cure is now social media bans for kids with blue ticks

So in today’s episode of Arsenal being the most vile team to ever exist: • Gabriel pulls out of international duty due to being in the red zone. SAF, Mourinho and Pep have been doing it for years • White returns to the England squad after being insulted by an ex member of staff

The inquests that always happen after Arsenal lose a game is funny. They’ve lost just 4 games this whole season 🤣🤣🤣 out like 50. The meltdowns and the over-analysis is proper redundant

If #Arsenal are 9 clear having played w/o a top class striker (even if Viktor tries his best), with Saka way off form, & skipper Odegaard restricted to 13 starts, it means 2 things: - Arteta's doing an unbelievable job. - GK, DF & MF have been exceptional. The rest is noise.

So many pundits have made a career off calling Arsenal losers. This is why many of them do not want Arsenal to win any trophy. They will have to probably find new jobs. A flying Arsenal means unemployment for many because they have nothing more to talk about.

Of course it’s a national news story. When Arsenal do something that Fergie’s teams and Mourinho’s teams have been doing for 30 years, having a few players miss out on meaningless games when they’re already qualified for a World Cup and are exhausted.

Sky sports getting community noted is actually crazy.

O’reilly “proper troll” Lewis Skelly “disrespectful”

A man got wrapped up in 2023 and OP posted it after the Arsenal game to paint a false narrative. Now they in the quotes talking bout some “they are genuinely so pathetic” ight bruh. Arsenal hate is too mainstream man

You could quite fairly call Arsenal crap yesterday, especially in the second half. Yet you’ll still see people say we just parked the bus or something, when in reality we just couldn’t get out of the press. People read stuff on the internet and lose all critical thinking skills