Hilary Conway

It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead. 8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. 8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up . 8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended. 8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role. 8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. 8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist. 9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather. 9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services. 9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested. By noon it all melted Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes

ICYMI: We’ve welcomed Trek as our new Community Bike Partner! We’ll be working together to provide brand-new bikes for our Community Coaches, bringing the joy of cycling to loads and loads of budding young riders. Find out more ⤵️

Trek to supply 500 bikes and help out 40,000 riders in British Cycling deal trib.al/cINszeo

C is for… coming soon! We have some exciting news to share with you all tomorrow 🚲 👀

Possibly the most @OutOfCycling ever #GlasgowScotland2023

@eastlake_e @Pinkpanther_76 @FondOfBeetles @QcWynter They should. Bikes and horses should give way to pedestrians. Unfortunately lots of people don’t know the countryside code ☹️

@Pinkpanther_76 @Hildog78 @FondOfBeetles @QcWynter I wish cyclists would slow down and use their bells on paths when approaching people

Today, walking to my house, a very male voice asked from a decent distance: “Coming though, got a dog”. I obviously stepped aside to allow man dog-walker to pass. As he went past me, he said: “There’s a bloke hanging around behind us, you cross over”. ❤️

@sarahwoolley79 @aobaoill @QcWynter @FondOfBeetles I have a flat cap 😉 everybody is equal in God’s Country

@aobaoill @Hildog78 @QcWynter @FondOfBeetles But it's obligatory to have a whippet if you're in Yorkshire (flat cap too for the fellas)

@A_L_Carrington @Pinkpanther_76 @FondOfBeetles @QcWynter As a cyclist I’m a fan of ‘good morning, on your right’ from a distance or I say ‘ding ding’ when I’m on my mountain bike. Should work both ways - a woman galloped past me on a bridleway last week, gave me NO chance to put dogs on leads so my collie pup, of course, took chase

@Pinkpanther_76 @Hildog78 @FondOfBeetles @QcWynter Wish more cyclists did the same as you! Can be startling if they approach silently from behind - especially for horses and their riders. Call out to warn us! Electric cars are a similar menace on country lanes. You can’t hear them coming from behind (or in front round a corner).

@QcWynter @FondOfBeetles 👍🏻in Yorkshire we say hello to everybody. ‘Now then’ ‘How do’ ‘Ey Up’ will also suffice! I also think saying hello & a comment about the surroundings/weather/view ensures people would recall you if you were to go missing on a dark morning! Enjoy the UK 🇬🇧

@Hildog78 @FondOfBeetles You have spared me the ignominy of turning around and shouting "so bloody what?"

@FondOfBeetles @QcWynter I shout something like ‘hi there just behind you with a dog’ when I’m out running or approaching people from behind. Gives them chance to be startled from a distance. really important if they also have a dog. I get really annoyed if folks don’t do the same!

@QcWynter Except weird fellas lurking in bushes, obvs.

@carryonrichie There he is 👆🏻🤣

Oh fuck off England

Great to see a professional, calm, and polite team resurfacing Gilling Road on behalf of @northyorksc unlike the angry Royal Lancer who chose to scream at one chap that only the police can stop traffic! Tough gig being delayed by 2 mins! Good job you shouted & 🖕🏻on your way past!

Yesterday a young chap gave me ‘the village finger’ not far from a Billy Bowden OUT!! Really made me smile about a time when life was simple and popmaster was our alarm clock! Good times @carryonrichie

👏🏻 🎩

My one-year-old son just looked up from Twitter and said, 'Mummy, why have you made these very real children sad with your heinous yet unevidenced bigotry?' Then he ran upstairs and burned all his Potter books. I was so damn ashamed I almost forgot the kid was imaginary.

Just spent 20 mins on with @AmazonUK chat. My boots have split after 6 months use and you don’t have a replacement but….. I can buy a replacement and get them tomorrow if I click ‘buy again’? I’m very confused @MuckBootCo

Fantastic… twitter.com/BleacherReport…

Reminder: Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs remain banned in the US because the little toys inside may choke kids.

@_thomasturner @Marathon_Mcr @LeukaemiaCareUK Awesome @_thomasturner !! Enjoy the day 🏃🏼‍♂️ May your laces stay tight and your chaffing be minimal 🙏🏻

Having my first go at 26.2 miles tomorrow at the @Marathon_Mcr, raising money for the wonderful @LeukaemiaCareUK. 🏃🏻‍♂️ Best of luck to everybody taking part. 🫡 justgiving.com/fundraising/th…