Hurt Shrew

@JDVance You’re a creep and no one likes you

I think it's pretty weird for adults to sterilize little kids by giving them hormone therapy. I know Kamala Harris disagrees with me on this and considers it to be totally "normal."

hey guys I just fell out of a coconut tree, did I miss anything

Damn when that composer wrote La Mer he put his whole Debussy into it

Wildly cunty and unnecessary for mosquito bites to itch. Like I have plenty of blood, have at it but don’t be a bitch about it!!

A simple #lifehack if you don’t someone to be mad at you is to start your next sentence with “don’t be mad,” which lets them know they don’t have to be mad!

Responding to my cat’s meows with “what is it, girl??”

Does Ken Burns know that he doesn’t have to have that haircut

boss: are you going to have that Q3 report ready sometime soon?? let’s find some time to talk about your performance me (letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves): ok

I like to think that if I were a fly I would not get caught in a spider’s web. Like just fly around it, easy peasy

Hey girl are you the United States bc you look like you could really use a high-speed rail

me (being murdered): oh WOW haha okay……. um??????

“Sublime” implies the existence of a superlime

Waiting for the gyno like

@Rasmussen_Poll Lol you fucking clowns

It’s a Doug E. Doug world

My god

Can’t stop thinking about this story. A *QUARTER* of all CT State troopers wrote tens of thousands of fake tickets to fake white people, likely to hide over-policing of minorities. Both the number of tickets and the share of troopers is ASTOUNDING. ctinsider.com/news/article/c…