Danny

Mechanic says my brakes new pads but I don’t think cars get a period

Nothing tastes as good as mogging feels

Happy birthday, weed

Coccyx seven

I may be a red flag but you should see the pole that comes with it

Here is my most recent appearance on Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast @mattwritesbooks @Shanemgillis youtu.be/zOc-NsvKtvE

nothing could have prepared me for how hard the 7-eleven merch website goes

Hey .@AldiUSA Love the snacks, love the deals, and love the checkout lane speed..but what I’m not loving are these PAPER BAGS WITHOUT HANDLES! Now I’ve got to carry these bags like I’m a fireman carrying a body out of a building! PUT THE HANDLES BACK!

being “on the rocks” is bad for a relationship but good for a drink. the world is endlessly nuanced

Tiger’s done it again smh

“whose pussy is this”—doctor frankenstein sorting spare parts

I am never deleting this app.

I’m at my clits end

Nick Mullen: Part Two | Son of a Boy Dad #387 youtu.be/Y98x8BiNrNQ?si…

I put my balls in the condom too

Elmo says I got a glock in my Rari

Nick Mullen: Part One | Son of a Boy Dad #386 youtu.be/VUDqb8yUsoQ

@girllafraidd Oh hey. I was at that show

My brother looked at my framed photo of Adam Friedland and went “who’s this fucking queer? Hope he’s not your boyfriend.”

When everyone says you can’t murder or play cornhole without arms and legs

Tomorrow